poetry

There is a patter in my heart that I know as living
It is a steady beat that offers a familiar, safe background
To all that is going on that is not steady and acceptable
To all the fear, loss, pain and suffering of invading dangers

This same reliability resides in the cheery morning song birds
In the ocean’s continuous ebbs and flows, dependable to the minute
The grains of wet packed sand feel solid even while ever shifting
I need to be reminded of the reliable grace of nature

In these times of required isolation, nature holds the promise of life
Returning to normal, as the flowering of nature spectacularly arrives
Even though the flowers are temporarily present by design
They form an orchestrated coming alive as if being conducted

Every awakening shrub, flower and tree is here to support me
In my sustained hibernation and isolation from others
The magnificence of every living thing is bursting around me
Holding the space for freedom of movement to manifest again

I would love to have enough profound love be able to envelop us
In ways that would fully protect us from viruses running rampant
From bodies succumbing to the ravages of fever and infection
From our own deep darknesses feeding the exploding virus

Alas, the work is within, within our fear, our discomfort, our doubt
It is within the depression that comes from worry, black thoughts
The work is seeking inner peace, joy, kindness, and above all balance
Requiring infinitesimal adjustments minute by minute

Then I remember to get outside to the living, vibrating nature
To breath deeply this day, to honor this day and this body
To hold the space for all that is swirling with danger to settle
For the Oneness to help, as we millions call back balance and grace

Fear is an all-encompassing emotion
It has a very long shelf life, left unattended
It gets denser and more at home over time
It profoundly affects your sense of what is

To dig out fear, you have to suspect it may be present
You have to name it as best you can
Including all the symptoms known and unknown
While commanding it out of your own energy field

Banish it from all four fields of consciousness
Every smidgen of fear that is not conscious
Still has a huge and lasting impact on you
Fear resides at the subconscious and soul level

Fear can hang out in your unconscious field
Fear can be consciously with your all the time
That makes a whole whopping lot of fear
You need to be sure all of it leaves your being

This is a lifelong task that only you can undertake
It insures you are not run by unnamed fears
That you can stop lashing out with unbridled anger
That you can disengage from all forms of hatred

Asking for forgiveness only goes so far
If you keep repeating the fear-based responses
Blowing up and regularly going totally ballistic
Others distance and protect themselves from you

Asking for forgiveness for the umpteenth time
Is also too little too late, especially with loved ones
Your responsibility is to seek the source of your fear
Then do your utmost to clear the fear from your field

Get to it because any effort works better than
Living and being run by unnamed fears
All efforts lead towards reaching the core
Source of the fear and anger, to free you forever

Facing fear takes guts and repeated efforts
It requires you to take off your public mask
Get into your heart and name the fear
Even while you may be afraid it will devour you

Sticking your fearful head in the sand
Does not EVER work, though you do get
All the chances you need to keep avoiding
The fears, while amassing all the consequences

You can wait until the consequences are severe
So that you have to make amends with everyone
Or step up now before the abysmal consequences
Of being run by fears create profound suffering

I don’t remember when there had been so many miracles
That I had to change my way of thinking and living
I had to open my closed mind and make a different choice
And let the Divine Energy fill my place of knowing

For a long time, I stayed in a place of skepticism
Unable to fully put my energy and faith into a loving God
Unable to let my guard down and go with the flow
Unwilling to believe because I might be dead wrong

I suspect that the Divine was working on me a good long time
I remember when I was a small girl in church at communion
Making a scene when I was told I was too little to partake
I pitched a fit saying that “God was for all of us”

I felt snubbed and reacted with audacious fervor
Feeling truly mistreated that I could not taste God’s body
Perhaps I was already looking for proof of God’s energy then
And I had just been barred from learning more

Years passed and I called continuous daily pain to my body
I did not understand I was doing that or why
The pain in my body masked the denial I was working with
It gave me something to always deal with daily that was undeniable

Now I know about previous lifetimes of persecution and death
Due to my “knowing” of God and my lives devoted to that knowing
I was probably trying to get through this lifetime
Without sticking out because of my connection with the Divine

Though in the end it was a futile attempt to fit in
Trying to be skeptical like everyone else around me failed
Miracles, love as power, and grace beyond understanding kept showing up
As an energy beyond my mind and a love that never fades

Life’s experiences demanded that I sit in Silence
Demanded I continue to seek peace and balance
Required me to experience present lives full of miracles
Past and present times of connection and deep knowing of God

So here I am, more tempered than I thought was possible
Continuously seeking to release all that does not serve
Living a single-minded commitment to expand consciousness
Knowing the journey is eternal and that arrival is elusive

No one could have told me the journey is the peace I sought
The releasing of all my fears and anger would free me forever
The determination to connect with Divine Source would be met
With the ability to share with others their journeys as well

Impatience is the bane of my existence
I am a rusher, hurrier, want to get it done
Kind of person, on the go
Doing one thing, thinking of the next thing

I get tons done most days
But my breath and body pay
As I function at high gear
Packing in and pushing most of the time

It is the impatience with others
I struggle with especially when
Their moving and decision making
Is happening in the slow lane

I know what I want to do
I make decisions quickly
I move decisively
I am all in with anything I do

This was the way I lived for years
I evaluated my day by how much I accomplished
I was rather callous with those “in my way”
I felt a total sense of shortness of time

Then, yoga found me on a crisp afternoon
I had been a dancer as a child
I had loved body movement
But yoga brought my breath back to me

Next, meditation entered stage left
Sneaking into my days
Calling me to times of quiet
Beckoning me to be still

I was not a natural meditator
I was squirmy and impatient
My progress was not easily visible
I had to surrender, again and again

I had to slow down and breath
I learned to be fully in the moment
And to clear my crummy feelings
And to stop pushing and evaluating me

I became a bit nicer to me and to others
I became more grounded and happy
I often wonder where I would be
If impatience still ruled the roost

Recently, my blood pressure returned to
The days of my 30’s and smiled upon me
Nodding to the years of changes in my life
And beckoning me to continue to flow

Something about my relation to time changed
Something about my impatience changed
Then something about being at peace showed up
Then my body healed and joy arrived to stay

Death of another is a loss of what is
It is the loss of what has been
And the finality of what could have been
The loss of more time together

Death pricks the fear that you will not
Make it through the sorrow
You will not find your way out
You will always be in grief

Loss of another is a call to go within
To consciously touch to that which is solid
That which never changes and is constant
The connection with the Greater Whole

You are still safe and loved
Even when death is present
You still have the knowing of the Love
That has been and always will be

Why does the dread about death persist?
The seeming finality is scary
Your loved one is not in the flesh
Your loved one moves to a place within

Perhaps you have not explored within
Perhaps you do not feel at ease there
Perhaps the deep grief feels paralyzing
Perhaps moving ahead seems overwhelming

However within is a place of Love
Within awaits your presence
Healing and Love both reside within
Restoration and Grace reside within

Going within provides all the time
You desire to say the things you did not say
To set things right from your side
To determine that which needs saying

Death is often a doorway to inner peace
It beckons us to quiet reflection
It strengthens us for reentering life
Without our loved one in the flesh

Every action and feeling you have
Is known by the Everlasting Love
You cannot be forgotten ever
You will find your way home

Receive the blessings of the Eternal Energy
Beckoning you to your own true self
Reminding you are whole and will feel whole again
Restating that all is well and that you are truly loved

If you are beset with sorrow, this can leave you. Open a Sacred Healing Space with Divine Source energy you want in that space. Call for help (I call forth help) from Divine Source for any depression, sorrow, loss or grief energy you are carrying to be transformed. Call for your lightness of heart and mind to be restored. Call in the healing energy and balance that you desire. Call for the help you need to take up your life again. You can do this for yourself and for others. You are always heard.

Face your darkness
As much as you don’t want to do it
Do it anyway
It is calling you to your own true self

There is an inner knowing
Of the goodness and of the darkness within
Holding onto the darkness causes illness
Sorrow, pain, heartbreak, and suffering

The only way out of the suffering
Is to face it down, command it out
Refuse to settle, name your fears
You are stronger than you can possibly imagine

You are made of the Oneness
Everything that is not going well
Is calling you to your own best self
To a different reality where there is peace

But you have to make the choice
For truth, determination, for love
And wholeness, some of every day
Don’t hide another day

Name the fears, one by one
Be ruthlessly honest with yourself
Do not take “I can’t” for an answer
Work daily to let one fear go after another

And work with Divine Source not against it
Name all that you are unhappy with
Call in the healing you need
Knowing it will come to you in perfect timing

If you are a beginner to this,
Give yourself some slack
Be sure to call in patience for yourself
Because this journey is eternal

Face the root fear of all unspoken fear
That your deepest fears are truly who you are
That if you go deeply you will find more darkness
That you are really profoundly flawed

Better to keep pretending
Because the truth will be awful
You might not be able to swallow it
You might drown while trying

Take a step back, this is truly inaccurate
Your set of fears is humanly created
They are illusions with no lasting heft
Merely thoughts you have given your power to

What awaits you is a new understanding of your magnificence
The unraveling of all fears and conditioning
The replacing of every single negative self perception
With profound grace and love for self and others

The fear you feel is the part of you
Calling for change, rebalancing
Re-centering, courage, and grit
Again and again, the call to your true self is eternal

You are more splendid that you can image
You have more love to give than you can ever grasp
Your life here is to discover the love that is your essence
Unearthing the fears reveal the doorways to lasting love and balance

Oh wondrous being, you are loved beyond anything you can imagine
It is hard to believe this when you have not experienced bountiful Love
Especially if you hurt, are grieving, feel mistreated and abandoned, or insufficient
Nonetheless, this Love is always accessible just outside your busy human self

Love is ever with you no matter what is happening to you or your loved ones
This Love created all that is beautiful, kind, imaginative, and lasting
This Love created you both in human form and in eternal formlessness
This Love continues to beckon you to go within and know unconditional Love

You may have to try repeatedly to enter that Silence within to receive
You have huge amounts of fear and dissonance that have not been attended to
You have an entire value system that daily values doing over being
You are perhaps fearful of what will be revealed and that it will be bad

However, this planet and all therein were created in profound Love
Even when you stray from this Love for eons, you still get the chance to heal
You are never abandoned even as you may be engaged in paying chronic debts
Even when you have rebelled against Love and Kindness for lifetimes

You are always being pointed in the best direction for you
You are always being given cues about what would serve you well
Even when you have taken the guidance and the experience was gut wrenching
You are always guided to where you need to grow and expand next

I know this from numbers of lifetime experiences all over the globe
I know this from thousands of hours in Silence clearing my own imbalances
I know this because I have lived in the depths of despair and risen
I know this because every time I have needed help, it has been given

The paths you need come when you decide to be kindness and seek peace
The people you need arrive when you clear all the fear and darkness you carry
The experiences you seek manifest when your inner dissonance disappears
The love you desire arrives when you know what you truly love about yourself

Being in the center of profound Love always calls you to your best self
Still you have to choose this repeatedly through your thoughts, words, and actions
You have to find the courage to face your good and not so good self
Activate your courage to trust that at your essence you are truly the Love you seek

There is a space beyond my mind and body where energy flows without hindrance. Where I am one with the Universe and we commune through energy alone. It is the energy of Love and Acceptance, the energy of Infinite Possibility and Grace. At times I have felt so connected, my body vibrates, totally alive with the recognition of Source Presence. This tells me I count. This tells me I am a person of substance. This reminds me that I am always seconds away from checking in and touching to Divine Energy.

I am not sure I could always live in that space. It is exhilarating and phenomenal. It moves me beyond body, thought, or encumbrances. It is all encompassing though eventually I am delivered back to this dimension, more peaceful and gentle, more centered and grounded. I marvel at these experiences. They come upon me when I least expect them. When I am seemingly just going about my business. They catch me like a practice in reverie, though without the thoughts and without anything of human substance. I am floating along in wholeness, existing in vibration.

These experiences remind me that I am more than my words, more than my convictions, more than this body. I am of the Oneness, eternal and always growing. I have a trajectory of being that eclipses all the negativity I have ever touched to. I cannot die and fade away into nothingness. No one really does that. I change states and keep on moving along. If I so choose, I can continue to explore pure Love, call it to myself, and keep setting down all that does not serve me. I can face my demons and amazingly, they leave me. I can create the Peace I seek. I am always connected to Love and Wholeness, regardless of the the ever present darkness, visible daily.

So I belong and I don’t belong. I belong to a world of ever changing possibility. I don’t belong to the woes, slings, and arrows that continue to challenge me to make a choice for Love. Those are the trail signs helping me to follow the Light. I do belong to seeking and wonder. I do belong to an inner knowing of integrity with self and others. I do not belong to the suffering of the world though I touch to it daily. It is my choice not to remain there. It is my choice to make another move towards clearing and balance, towards loving and forgiving, towards prayer and re-centering. I do belong to the vicissitudes of life though knowing they are informed by the blessings of a spiritual path evolving the formation of my human self.

Miracles have a tenuous place in the present world
They are often subject to deep suspicion
Because if miracles can truly happen
Your whole sense of a world without miracles will be disturbed

What if heart surgery can be received without cutting
Or if bones can be realigned by merely calling that to happen
What if you can schedule your perfect vacation with Divine Presence
What if you can heal from cancer through deep clearing of stuck energy

What if you can learn how to tell if you have an infection or virus
Or call in healing for toxic, damaging relationships
What if you can heal your immune system by calling in healing
What if you can receive all the energy you need through Divine vibration

Even if all these shifts can happen and they can
Every step to arrive and experience Divine healing
Must be taken in a Divinely ordered manner
To manifest a sure knowing of the vastness of the Universal Energy

This ordered manner though is not your concern
You just need to begin your inner work
All else is given as you move from topic to topic
Once you make a tiny effort, you will get powerful support

Start with that which is the most disturbing for you
Do not let those issues fester, they sap your energy
Suspend your misgivings and try, open Sacred Space,
Call in what you need and give thanks for what manifests

You will be heard though it may be a long road
To the place where you think you are going
You have to go through every step between the present
And where you hope to arrive. One day or months may be needed.

Start now and keep returning, there will be no regrets
Frustration at times, questioning at times, of course
Every time you clear stuck energy, you will feel lighter
You will feel more confident in being able to create peace

If you never start, you will be faced with the same issues repeatedly,
Even the next time your soul returns here for another run at life
You can really never escape the areas that need healing
Your soul is eternally calling you to your best self!

Resources

This Six-Step Spiritual Healing Protocol is a place to start.

This free, short Healing Yourself Tutorial is another place to start. (I narrate it.)

This is part 1 protocol healing steps if you are dealing with Chronic Issues.

This is part 2 protocol healing steps if you are dealing with Chronic Issues.

For more in-depth background, see my book.

The new day dawns with shimmering light
All the past can be set down
No matter the darkness or sense of hopelessness
Today holds infinite possibilities

The shining warmth of the sun
Calls you to your best loving self
You can listen or you can ignore this
You can clear the past or wallow in it

You have infinite choices though at times
You are unable to make a new choice
Because you have not finished
The past choices you are living with

Who among you can be in the present moment
Without having blessed the past
Clearly decided to move on
And called in the love you need to be present

There is vast and ever expanding love
Within and all around you, daily
You are absolutely able to call this to yourself
But you may need practice in doing this

You may need to take a walk
You may need Silence
You may need to reach out to another
You may need to be kind to yourself

Cultivating love is a practice
It takes some experimenting
To know what you need to grow love
What your heart needs to be love

So try giving your past worries and trauma
To the Light of the new day
And call in Love to replace the darkness
Hope to replace the woe and heaviness

A new day awaits you every 24 hours
The possibility of refreshing love and kindness
The opportunity to make a new start
The determination to be the love you seek

You are never alone even if you can not see the support
You can always be connected to the Wholeness
It is a matter of choosing love, kindness, and forgiveness
These acts set us free from the past to be present now

In the present moment, the past is gone
You are the one to set the past down
You are the one to take a different direction
You are the one to live in love and possibility

Be your best self today
No matter what you encounter
Hold the space for kindness
Love is just waiting to be activated

Banish any unloving act, word, or deed
Strike unloving energy from your daily routine
You are already love embodied
You simply have to embrace this and actualize the love you are

Become better acquainted with you as love
You were conceived in the loving image of Divine Source
Practice love over and over again, with the dawning of each new day
You are loved beyond anything you can ever imagine, for all eternity\