Why is it important to speak the truth when most of the time you just want to have the person be happy with what you said to them? It is important because what you say is a reflection of yourself. If you do not speak the truth, you cannot expect to be truly known or well thought of, by anyone. Pleasing others by sacrificing the truth helps no one, not you and certainly not the other person.
People often tell me,” it is just easier for me to say something that skirts the real truth. Everyone wins.” Well, that may seem true if you are not in Right Relationship with yourself or at odds with the other person. Perhaps the relationship is perfunctory or of little importance. Still, the lie coming out of your mouth has an energetic affect on your well being. You can’t see it but it can cause havoc with your sleep, your energy, your self-perception, your outlook on life, and your sense of efficacy,(the ability to produce the desired result).
In Cross-Cultural Communications, it is often stated that as much as 97% of our real communications in non-verbal. So, if you lie or are being lied to, it is likely that both parties know this. The issue then is how to deliver difficult information to another. Figure out what you truly feel without judgement or guile.
Speak the truth first to yourself. If you are anxious about speaking the truth to another, clear for the anxiety of speaking the truth to that person. If you are worried that what you are saying will negatively affect your relationship, figure out the kindest way to say what you need to say. But do not stuff what you need to say or make up a lie to cover the truth. Falsehoods have a way of growing out of control rather quickly. It is as if through lying you give the Universe the sense that you do not care at all about the consequences of having lied. This catches up with you eventually in undesirable ways.
You have to clear for all the stuck energy you have about speaking the truth. I have seen people go to the extreme of being so blunt in their message to another, it is as if they are attacking the person they are speaking with. This often comes from fear of confrontation and push back. Fear of being punished, ostracized, or attacked is often given as a legitimate reason to lie. Rehearse and prepare to speak the truth in sticky situations. Clear for all the fears and misgivings you have before delivering your truth.
Years ago, before numerous training programs, I would go outside and train the trees in my backyard. I would speak out loud to hear if I liked what I was saying. I still do rehearse and modify aloud when I need to say something that feels hard to deliver.
Speak truth with compassion. Imagine how the person will react to your truth and deliver your message with love and compassion, even if the message is a hard one to present. Kindness goes a long way to help support a relationship when hard things need to be said.
Often the truth is not spoken aloud because you do not want to face the truth you know is present. Take rape, infidelity, incest, stealing, addiction, betrayal, hiding financial resources, abuse, molestation, blackmail, fraud, etc. If you are dealing with these issues yourself or with a person you care about, you may well need professional help to speak your truth with positive results towards another or for yourself. Especially in these tough situations, speak the truth to yourself to begin the next phase of your life towards wholeness. Do the clearing you need to stand up and speak the truth with compassion and clarity to those who need to know. These practices keep us on a humble path towards greater inner balance.
If you are stuck around whether to speak the truth or not, ask for guidance if this truth is yours to speak. Sometimes, the Divine preference is for us not to speak the truth in a given situation. You have to determine if this is your work to do. Perhaps, it is too late to bombard a person with the truth of the past. Sometimes, we want to speak the truth so another will suffer, face up, or pay for what they have done. The wrong reasons could be at play here. Other times, it is clearly not our affair even though we know a truth regarding others. The motivation to speak the truth needs to be for a positive outcome and not a solely punitive one. What is the loving way to speak the truth? Cultivate that thinking and effective actions will follow.