seeking

Feb 03 2021

Hope and Rigor

When I sit alone, having been alone now for many months
I realize Peace is my companion
That was not the case for much of this lifetime
I was fastly tethered to my emotions and commitments

Thousands of hours of seeking and meditating later
I know that hope and rigor have been my true companions
When deeply sad, angry, frustrated or out of sorts
I learned in Silence to search out hope

Hope was a little spark among the heaviness
It grew out of making my mind go to gratitude
It grew out of the determination to clear the darkness
Again and again, I learned that facing the dark feelings worked

I tried for years to ignore all problems, fastidiously
I could make myself really believe I was not angry or sad
Especially when I was most indeed angry or sad
Or when I thought that ignoring my feelings could work

Usually I exploded with some unkind response to my family
Before I began to realize that I thought I was being good
By ignoring the heavy emotions that accompanied my life
But I was really just letting them fester until they burst forth

Ugh! So much nastiness got sprayed on those around me
Before I realized I could take the hard stuff into Silence
That I could bring my feelings to that eternal table
That I would actually be heard and my feelings could transform

First I had to wrestle with having the right to ask for help
Then I had to work on being worthy of being heard and responded to
Then I had to learn to trust that the healing coming in would be enough
Then I learned to be grateful for something I never ever thought could happen

Sep 24 2020

Fear is Crippling

The way ahead is to face your fears
If you never do anything else but this
Face your fears, again and again
Command them out of your consciousness

This can set you free
This can cultivate compassion
This can bring you inner peace
This can grow mounds of love

Fears are humanly created
They therefore can be set down
That is profoundly powerful truth
For every single seeking one among you

Go searching for the elusive fears
They frequently show up in dreams
They are imbedded in acts of self-protection
They empower lashing out at loved ones

The constant bubbling up of fear
Is scary even if it your own fear
It parades as being truth
It insinuates that it has power

None of this is true for anyone
In fact, what we focus on grows
What we ignore festers
What we face head-on transforms

You are the one who gives power to fear
You cower in the corner and try to hide
You try to ignore the fear to death
You try to deny the fear just begging to be ousted

Call in your courage of heart and mind
Arm yourself with the mantle of Oneness
You are made in the image of Divine Source
You can slay all that is fearful, bar none

Only love and kindness are everlasting
Humanly created fear is born out of
Disconnection with Divine Source
Reconnect in Silence and inner work

Create a fear free reality that serves you
Deny any power to the fears you discover
Fears resides in every single person
Go after yours and free yourself from darkness!

Sep 17 2020

GRACE?

I wonder what I really know about Grace?
It seems to elude me mostly
I like the vibration of the word
Yet I know so little about it

The flowery religious words
Do not speak to me at all
They basically obscure the clarity I seek
They seem entrenched in the past

Grace feels like active energy
It feels expansive and important
It feels a bit like I would like to be seen
It holds a knowing I would love to embody

Perhaps it is found in kind acts
Or in lovely blooming flowers
It feels like it might be in the
Sounds of music at times

I think it is something I am growing into
Yet I do not know the path forward
Maybe to live in Grace means to try
To be gentle and quiet sometimes

Or it could mean to be thoughtful
Deeply attentive or grateful
Grace might live in the mountains
They always take my breath away

Grace seems to call me within
I know in being there, something shifts
Grace shows up when I walk along a beach
With the sand, the water and the beauty

Perhaps Grace is a call to wholeness
Always playing in the back ground
Always just elusive enough to be interesting
Just beyond one’s ability to capture it

I think of Grace as a special type of freedom
One I can grow or not, as it is up to me
Perhaps if I begin with my desire to know it
It will reveal itself, again and again

Sep 09 2020

Coming Out of Shame

What is shame but the result
Of taught expectations and rules
Delivered by a hurting person
Disconnected from Divine Source?

I was taught embarrassment for who I am
I was expected to hide my mistakes
I received ruthless judgment of me as lacking
I learned to blame and question my own worth

Persistent messages revealed my constant failure
Ingrained feelings grew into mistrust and self-hate
Endless messages of indignity and mortification
What if I am truly to blame for the faults I have?

How do all those early lessons in shame
Get reframed with love and acceptance?
Where is enough love to heal this pain?
How does trust in self-goodness even blossom?

Still though, how do I measure up to something so firm
So unbending, and starkly delivered?
Maybe I am not here to love myself fully
I have learned how to self-protect my every choice

I also learned to aim for perfection in all things
Though I always expect swift scorn and failure
Ruthless judging has been ever present
I even use ridicule and anger towards myself now

In the quiet though, my spirit still yearns to soar
I long to feel unencumbered and free
My heart seeks true love and kindness
I know my being needs to be safe, somewhere

Who will walk with me on this journey?
Who will reinforce my search for self-love?
Who will be my go to when I do fail?
Who will hold my heart as I try again?

There is talk of a place of wholeness, within
I have heard that phrase, though I do not know it
I intend to find my way out of this shame
And I will never create this darkness for another

Aug 19 2020

Your ‘I AM’ Presence Awaits

The ‘I AM’ Presence is your unconditional connection with Divine Source/God/All That Is. Every person has this connection regardless of life circumstances. To activate that energy you have to claim that connection out loud for it to fully activate. Otherwise, you can spend you entire life missing out on working from your highest self.

Speak the following out loud.

I call forth my ‘I AM’ Presence as I prepare to confront my daughter about her recent behaviors and grades.
From my ‘I AM’ Presence, I bless the marriage of Johan and Moan, for their highest good to manifest.
From the combined power of my ‘I AM’ Presence and God’s Glory, I command an honest, wise, collaborative, and people serving federal government manifest for this country.
Through my ‘I AM’ Presence, I call forth the most perfect professional position for me at this time.
With the power and determination of my I AM Presence, I command the deepest cleansing for rebalancing the Nation’s mind, body, and soul manifesting as systemic racism in the United States of America.

You are made in the image of God. You have seeds of God-ness all through you. You have to call forth the I AM power and energy for it to fully come alive in this dimension. Know and prepare for your negative feelings, discord, and negative thoughts to come to your surface as you begin to use this energy. By working with the I AM Energy, all that is not a part of this energy will show up for healing. If you ignore these issues, they will increase in severity without fail.

Doing your inner work is your side of the equation in your relationship with God. You can choose to go through life and ignore this inner work. However, as you are everlasting in spirit, you will have to address the imbalances, sooner or later. If you do it sooner, you will be free of those negative thoughts and feelings and their consequences sooner. However, it is your choice. You can take all the lifetimes you want to come to a place of doing inner work. However, the imbalances when ignored, grow bigger and bigger.

Every human is here potentially growing in the understanding of being created and sustained in Love. Regardless of what is around you, your core energy is Love. It could be covered over with fear, abuse, addiction, negative self-perceptions, arrogance, violence, or anger but at the core, all humans were created and sustained in Love. How to start?

Say these out loud. Hold the space for healing. Give thanks.

1. From my ‘I AM Presence’ I bring my feelings of ______________________ to this Sacred Space for healing and rebalancing. (shame, guilt, apathy, sorrow, fear, anger, desire, pride, arrogance, jealousy, self-hate, being a loser, etc.) Thank you for the healing.

2. With my ‘I AM’ Presence I call for clearing of the core reasons for my _________________________ that is no longer serving me or anyone else around me. (lying, cheating, embezzling, hatred, racism, competitiveness, mistreatment, violence, abuse, excessive drinking, addiction to ________, suspicion, etc. )Thank you for the healing.

3. Through my ‘I AM Presence’, I forgive wholly and completely ________________________ . ( myself, all those I have hurt, all my colleagues, my brother/mother/aunt/cousin/neighbor, etc. Thank you for the healing.

4. From my I AM Presence, I call forth Divine help and guidance for _______________________. ( my relationship, my next professional steps, my physical pain, my daughter’s job search, the future of my department, George/Janice/Shiela, the mess I have made of_____, etc. Thank you for the healing.

Work on any of the above issues for a few years and watch your life grow and change!! See my blog, found under Learn on the home page, at www.robbinshopkins.com and search with the words ‘I AM’ or ‘I am’ and see all the other posts on this subject.