Robbins Hopkins

Spiritual Health: Being at Peace in Everyday Life

god

A Call to The Spirit

Help me find enough love
to gift myself some slack

Help me see that I am
Enough every single day

Photo- Grant Jacobson

Help me hold onto the sense
Of beauty surrounding me

Hold me close when I dive
Into my deep unending darkness

I fear at times I will
Forget the way out

I fear at times that I know not
What is truly good for me

Help me connect to Divine Love
When it sometimes feels like two ordinary words

Photo by Ben White

Help me see love and kindness
In every direction regardless of swirling emotions

Bring me into a space of peace
When I cannot create it myself

Hold me in the Light
When I can only focus on the bitterness

Keep me safe from despair
And open to infinite grace

Be my partner in this life
When at times I feel alone

Heal my heart of continuing sadness
With gentleness and strength

Hold my hopes for delivery
Until I can manifest them myself

Grant me the next steps into the Light
I have been wallowing in darkness too long

Arrive and Know IT Again for the First Time

beyond the stuffed spurious schedules
past all devastating trauma and unrelenting tension
there lies a space of openness and grace
awaiting your arrival in perfect timing

Photo by Tanguy Sauvin

there is always an opening there for you
space to be, to listen, to hope, to dream
divine connection awaits your seeking
divine wisdom knows your name

you are accounted for with every breath of your being
every hair on your head is known to the Oneness
this begins at first birth and continues eternally
as you make your way through all life’s roadblocks

proactive effort can speed this along
setting down fears, doubts, and negative expectations
calling out the anger, blame, and self-flagellation,
clears up ancient imbalances, suffering, and pain

but simply showing up in a space where nothing is needed from you
begins to reignite the Sacred connection that has always been
even if you are depressed, feeling failure or in deep pain
there is respite in creating an opening for reaching beyond self

goodness, balance, abundance, and hope
await you through your inner journey to loving self
humor, joy, delight, and satisfaction
accompany the journey into inner peace

that is, after all the wailing and self blame
after all the soul crushing fear that you may not be enough
after all the amends have been faced and attended to
after all the woe, loss, and protection of self have softened

Photo by Kaitlyn Collins

somehow though rather miraculously
just opening to Silence while seeking help
begins the journey to Wholeness
that awaits every single one of you

through every form you ever take
through every time you close yourself off
through every profound loss you have
through every soul devastating event you experience

the Oneness is always waiting and open to you
the still small voice of love and encouragement
never fades no matter how long we take
to arrive and know It again for the first time*

 

* From TS Eliot, The Four Quartets

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time. “

Anger Dispelled

I stumbled into Silence dragging my anger behind
Urgently seeking something I could not describe
I was a cheerful, happy person on the outside
An angry, blaming, and furious one on the inside

Photo by Mehrdad Haghighi

I did not intend to be angry with myself and others
It just came boiling forth when I least expected it
For the life of me, I could not stop it
It was as if a switch turned on and another person took over

Then came the shame, the apologies, the determination to do better
I blamed my constant back pain, my work demands
I blamed my upbringing, my family, and my friends
I blamed myself most of all as I again vowed to stem the anger

Who would choose to live with a person like me?
A kettle poised to boil over any time, day or night
My insides tightly coiled while balancing everything
With the profound determination to do it all, perfectly

I staggered into Silence to test the waters
I sought something that seemed elusive and undefined
I had no idea what lay crawling and writhing beneath my surface
Anger just simmered slowly, waiting for the ignition of the flames

When the burn came roaring in, as it always did
I was fabulous at this expression of rage and power
I was a masterful example of a woman scorned
I was always right in this one-sided state of explosion

It took me years to walk away when I exploded
It took me hours in Silence to remember I was loved
It took profoundly deep tears to forgive my behavior
It took countless hours naming all the fear fueling my rage

I would not have survived without finding Silence
Somehow in Sacred Space, I could not hide
I could not use excuses, I had to face my demons
I had to see the poison I was creating through my anger

Photo by Kings Cichewicz

So I wrote from my deep heart, cried, and tried again
I sought deliverance from myself and I felt my heart sigh
I was filled with an uncanny vibrational presence
That felt like God’s love to me, even as I questioned it

As I painfully acknowledged all my anger and attack energy
I began to realize that somehow, miraculously,  I was still loved
My behavior was not me, it was something I could address
I even felt the thrill of Divine Presence within when I spoke the truth

I finally got that I  just needed to stay on the path
To wholeness, to truth, to continue seeking peace
All else was given, continuously, again and again
My job was to work through every last morsel of anger

I spent hundreds of hours writing out my woe
Dear God was always my intro, designed to keep me honest
All the accusing, writhing, self-denunciating,  despicable me
Laid out scrupulously revealed as an offering to Divine Source

We finally finished our journey of anger and rage
I began to have months and then years with no outbursts
I began to think I was done with the inner seeking, the shame
Then we began anew to work on judgment, again and again

Wish me luck and stamina
I know we will slay this dragon someday
I know I am not alone as long as I show up
As long as I keep myself in a humble place of trying
All is good and I will be truly whole!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Our Way

There is something wild and expansive about my God
Together, we touch this human form of me
When I feel alone, it is hard to see the me in God
The Eternal connection keeps reassuring

Photo by Cade Roberts

I so need to feel that thrilling pulsing vibration
The one that tells me I am not alone
The one that calls to me softly and physically
Through my heart and skin and bones

At first I thought I was simply lightheaded
However, those feelings kept repeating
Until I understood that the vibration
Was my conscious awareness of Divine Energy with me

There is a magnificent thrill with that vibration
The delight of being quietly in bed and receiving
The ability and wonder of calling the Presence to me
My heart being swirled with that love

The lightness within has a gentling effect on me
Now the loving feelings come when I call
The self-critic and the fear had to go
They were not good company for us

For when I tried to open to Spirit
In a space of judgement and worry
I could not feel a real connection
I made the best of it I could

Now when looking back
I was just play acting
Holding a Sacred Soul Space for Spirit
Even before I was ready to meet

We have a wonderful quiet space now
Where I can go night or day
We know we are connected to each other
Even though we are still finding our way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patiently Waiting for Me

Photo by Raychan

I want to open all of me to all of Thee
Take every part of me that is shrunk and disconnected
Take all my fears and my repeating worries
Reshape the parts of me that are hesitant and self-protecting

I know I need to feel expansive to touch to the Wholeness
Many days though my littleness is playing out
Other days my self doubt and the nasties are showing up
Then I swerve severely from thinking big and boldly

I am forming daily mantras for the shriveled up days I have
I am one with All That Is, I am known and loved
I am always connected with Divine Source
Spirit and I are one, are one, are one, are one

In Truth, I am always connected to Divine Love
I have to keep reminding my flighty mind of this
I must feel the desire to connect a dozen times a day
So reaffirming in little ways seems to see me through

My life, my work, my relationships, and my health
Are better when I feel connected to God and Oneness
I seem to be able to sail through all my responsibilities
And come out with more energy than I began with

There are even whole days my mind does not judge me
There are times when every part of my day moves with Grace and Ease
These are the glory days, the way I wish every day could unfold
These are the days that support me through the rough periods

Nothing human is ever a perfect constant
Change is always occurring with all things
I remember, I am the one with the dissonance
Divine Source is always patiently waiting for me

Another day, another try at connecting
This day will be the one with flow and delight
This day will be my best effort of all to connect
This day I will be the Peace and Joy I seek

And so it is!