Journeying to Now

Impatience is the bane of my existence
I am a rusher, hurrier, want to get it done
Kind of person, on the go
Doing one thing, thinking of the next thing

I get tons done most days
But my breath and body pay
As I function at high gear
Packing in and pushing most of the time

It is the impatience with others
I struggle with especially when
Their moving and decision making
Is happening in the slow lane

I know what I want to do
I make decisions quickly
I move decisively
I am all in with anything I do

This was the way I lived for years
I evaluated my day by how much I accomplished
I was rather callous with those “in my way”
I felt a total sense of shortness of time

Then, yoga found me on a crisp afternoon
I had been a dancer as a child
I had loved body movement
But yoga brought my breath back to me

Next, meditation entered stage left
Sneaking into my days
Calling me to times of quiet
Beckoning me to be still

I was not a natural meditator
I was squirmy and impatient
My progress was not easily visible
I had to surrender, again and again

I had to slow down and breath
I learned to be fully in the moment
And to clear my crummy feelings
And to stop pushing and evaluating me

I became a bit nicer to me and to others
I became more grounded and happy
I often wonder where I would be
If impatience still ruled the roost

Recently, my blood pressure returned to
The days of my 30’s and smiled upon me
Nodding to the years of changes in my life
And beckoning me to continue to flow

Something about my relation to time changed
Something about my impatience changed
Then something about being at peace showed up
Then my body healed and joy arrived to stay