choice

Feb 03 2021

Hope and Rigor

When I sit alone, having been alone now for many months
I realize Peace is my companion
That was not the case for much of this lifetime
I was fastly tethered to my emotions and commitments

Thousands of hours of seeking and meditating later
I know that hope and rigor have been my true companions
When deeply sad, angry, frustrated or out of sorts
I learned in Silence to search out hope

Hope was a little spark among the heaviness
It grew out of making my mind go to gratitude
It grew out of the determination to clear the darkness
Again and again, I learned that facing the dark feelings worked

I tried for years to ignore all problems, fastidiously
I could make myself really believe I was not angry or sad
Especially when I was most indeed angry or sad
Or when I thought that ignoring my feelings could work

Usually I exploded with some unkind response to my family
Before I began to realize that I thought I was being good
By ignoring the heavy emotions that accompanied my life
But I was really just letting them fester until they burst forth

Ugh! So much nastiness got sprayed on those around me
Before I realized I could take the hard stuff into Silence
That I could bring my feelings to that eternal table
That I would actually be heard and my feelings could transform

First I had to wrestle with having the right to ask for help
Then I had to work on being worthy of being heard and responded to
Then I had to learn to trust that the healing coming in would be enough
Then I learned to be grateful for something I never ever thought could happen

Nov 24 2020

Walk with Kindness and Determination

Walk upon this Earth with kindness and determination
Kindness towards all beings and determination to be your best
Seek to gently look within, to ferret out that which is not serving you
When Truth is presented, take time to actively move closer to it

Learn from all your mistakes, especially those accompanied by shame
Forgive profusely and completely, meaning truly set down the conflict
When tempted to lie, stay with the truth and hope for the best
Face all your anger with the intention to defuse it for yourself

Choose to love, champion others, create peace and patience
Strive to reframe the seeming darkness that appears
You live in the heart of Divine Presence always and forever
Keep practicing making that connection in infinite ways

Persistence in service to Love and Joy benefits all
Seeking to make peace with yourself affects all
Service to a higher presence touches everyone
Empathy for yourself creates acceptance and empathy for all

You create your own life regardless of what happens to you
You can be learning every step of the way along life’s journey
You can spend every second of your life reframing it in Love
You will reap unimaginable rewards for these choices, over and over again

Oct 22 2020

That’s Your Problem

Yet, another fight with hurtful, flung words
Escalating volume and bulging eyes
Red faces, slamming doors, and stalking off down the stairs
With angry tones and nasties still following both of us

What brings us each to these places?
What other options do I have?
What other options does my other have?
What do we do when it is all over?

Inner exploration is the only sure thing that works for me
What triggers me again and again, needs my setting down
My not feeling heard or understood, needs my clearing
My words not seemingly received as valuable, needs my attention

As anger escalates and stays at a heightened, hidden level
The biggest temptation is to bury the issues and the experience
Tiptoe around them and both pretend we do not have
An enormous pink elephant in the room

Pretty soon we are skilled at not addressing anger
We get to a place of lackluster and self-protection
We choose immediate placating and ignoring
Hoping it will all blow over and somehow just disappear

However, when the same issues come up again
The energy is fueled from all the previous times
We have stalked off and pretended we made up
Put on a good face without doing the inner clean up

God of all, help me see what is not at peace within
Help me honor what is not at peace for my other
Help me be brave enough to try again when calmer
Help me be open to what is hurting for my other

I call forth love and kindness for us both
Compassion for my other and for myself
Joy that we are together through thick and thin
Inclusive energy where I don’t get to say, That’s your problem.

Created with a big nod to Thich Nhat Hanh

Oct 15 2020

Inner Work Is Calling

Where have my happy places gone?
I miss my friends and my own laughter
I long to have things to look forward to
The thrill of celebration is strangely muted

I did not fully realize that my life
Was organized around looking forward to newness
Seeking all that is sparkly and unique
Escaping from daily life by going out on the town

Isolation is a mighty and strange condition
It brings up sticky issues and feelings
I absolutely do not care to revisit, yet still
Audaciously get right up in my face, uninvited

In the corner awaits the thorny work
Around every block, my frustrations flair
While totally minding my own business
Old pains emerge that I had successfully buried

When all distractions are taken away
The inner work boldly presents to fill the void
Of course, I have to choose to see it
I had become so adept at hiding from it

With an abundance of down time
A total paucity of scheduled events
Prickly issues keep erupting from within
Saying, here I am again, remember me?

You can’t escape me forever
No way girl, I’ve got your number
I am still here, always just hiding
Until you mess up again for real

I am waiting you out in the long game
Sporting infinite patience and perfect timing
With so few distractions at present,
Give that saggy ‘ole self-perception, the boot

Go ahead, give a try at being your best self
Set down that old irritation and anger forever
Spend some more time with the Great Spirit
We have lots more juicy things to talk about

Sep 24 2020

Fear is Crippling

The way ahead is to face your fears
If you never do anything else but this
Face your fears, again and again
Command them out of your consciousness

This can set you free
This can cultivate compassion
This can bring you inner peace
This can grow mounds of love

Fears are humanly created
They therefore can be set down
That is profoundly powerful truth
For every single seeking one among you

Go searching for the elusive fears
They frequently show up in dreams
They are imbedded in acts of self-protection
They empower lashing out at loved ones

The constant bubbling up of fear
Is scary even if it your own fear
It parades as being truth
It insinuates that it has power

None of this is true for anyone
In fact, what we focus on grows
What we ignore festers
What we face head-on transforms

You are the one who gives power to fear
You cower in the corner and try to hide
You try to ignore the fear to death
You try to deny the fear just begging to be ousted

Call in your courage of heart and mind
Arm yourself with the mantle of Oneness
You are made in the image of Divine Source
You can slay all that is fearful, bar none

Only love and kindness are everlasting
Humanly created fear is born out of
Disconnection with Divine Source
Reconnect in Silence and inner work

Create a fear free reality that serves you
Deny any power to the fears you discover
Fears resides in every single person
Go after yours and free yourself from darkness!