poetry

everyone is already wired for Divine connection
the fact that you are in body means you are connected
you can ask and receive help where needed
if your request is in alignment with God’s will

calling for another’s downfall is not God’s will
calling for damage, revenge, attack, or payback
is not God’s will
calling for punishment for another’s actions
is not God’s will

calling for a person to heal may or may not be God’s will
if you do not get what you want
that does not mean you have not been heard
it means what you have called for is not God’s will

does that mean that your call was useless?
no, the calling forth is a beginning dialogue with God
the answer is not the point really
your call is the expression of your compassion

using your compassion grows love energy
whether or not the specific outcome is received
your compassion for others grows when used
more love begets more love

persistence in loving others is rewarded
with more contact and guidance from Divine Source
in how to effectively proceed
in how to successfully bring forth the healing you envision

begin anywhere in your dialogue with the Oneness
keep calling in love, healing, kindness, success,
support, clarity, clearing, and grace
for others and you will get better at this!

be the love you want to see
be a force for healing, love, and grace
use your compassion to grow into your fullness
all else will come, all else will manifest

Oh God, I know I have a meanness within me
I know not where it comes from
As I feel it rear its ugly head
I still feel unable to curb it, at all

I am ashamed, so deeply ashamed
It is so familiar, I am painfully stunned to say
I know it too well for I have acted
upon that meanness all too often

I am the master of the preemptive strike
I am quick to lash out
in my total righteousness
I have focus for my anger, only,
For my view of that which is right

I feel untenable shame at my past actions
I need profound forgiveness
for vast amount of meanness and carelessness
I have hurt others through my fiery rage
I have often still felt in the Right
even after my striking out is over

My gnashing and sobbing do not begin to make amends
but perhaps I can start anew
I need to start anew, fresh again
to try and heal the meanness
that I have given my fierceness to
over and over again

I want the meanness and regret
to be cleansed from my energy
I want any love that still remains within
to grow and overflow outwards

I call within and without for this to manifest
For love to override the core of meanness within
I command the cleansing to commence, continue, and complete!
And, So It Is. And, So It Is.

My heart aches and hurts
The hatred of the Other is just everywhere
In hearts, in words, in news, across the globe
In the fabric of the past
In the trajectory of the future

I so need a respite from hatred of the Other
From the darkness of the fear around me
From the active hatred of those who are seemingly different
From the unexamined actions of the fearful
From the harmful experiences of one against another

We are from the same cloth, the same Light, the same Oneness
But bitter darkness comes from within you
It is externally aimed but inwardly cultivated
The we-ness and the they-ness continually fed
A well worn path of judgement, costing all in body

Seek within, seek the Light, seek Forgiveness
Seek to clear the anger, the fear, and the pride
Consuming you and all you come into contact with
This is not your true self
Only a step along your eternal path

This too shall pass if you make it so
Profoundly enter Silence, be Kindness, hold Peace
These paths lead to healing
Lead to release from fear and terror
Lead to another way to move forward

There is really, truly, no Other
Their seeming presence is for our learning
We get to learn these lessons
Lifetime after lifetime
Varied circumstances, same lessons

We come here to heal the we-ness, they-ness
Take this up with yourself
Stop the madness around you
Seek Peace and Forgiveness
Begin to love yourself within and loving the Other will follow

I walk through my days protecting
Something feels very vulnerable
I cloak myself with ever ready vigilance
Against that which I sense is everywhere present

I feel attack energy ready to slay me
I see myself being irreparably hurt, betrayed, and abandoned
It has happened to others. They suffer
I could so easily be the next one to lose

I present my false self everywhere
I am protecting my real self all the time
I know the difference but I pretend I don’t
I pretend to be who I am not
I feel I need to be someone other than me
Then I may be safe
Then I may escape the darkness seeking me

How did I come to this?
What did I miss?
Why do I persist?
What have I yet to learn?
Where did my trust go?

Oh Divine One, hear my plea
I am lost in this place of pain and suffering
I know not why I have swallowed the fear
Why I have chosen self-protection
Why I have sought to hide
I am weary living like this
I can’t find my happy time

I need to feel your Presence
My connection is so broken
In all this confusion, I can’t find my center
I keep pretending so maybe there is nothing of me really present
Come into my heart and mind
Why is this happening to me?
Am I lovable at all?

It feels immature to believe in guardian angels
As if I need some kind of safety net that I can’t even see
Like I am not capable of living my life with my own resources
As if I am so deeply unsure of myself that my story includes a guardian angel

No, our presence is not about your lack
It is about your brilliance and your loving center
We hold the space with your soul for expansion
For your peace, health, and wholeness

Even if you do not ask us to help you
We are with you all the time
We are always waiting for a call from you
For whenever you would like help on anything

But if I can’t see you, how can I believe you are there?
I don’t relish believing in something that is made-up
Like Santa Claus or fairies or Easter bunnies
That is all so much nonsense!

I don’t really even believe in God
Not that I tell anyone that
But there is too much pain here
For there to be a God

Ah, but that is why you are in body
To learn the difference between human and Divine energy
To choose to listen to the Knowing within
To learn about your connection with God

With that listening, each will heal from
All heartache and suffering,
All illness and pain

All pain and suffering is humanly created
That is the state of those separated from Divine Source
Seek within, y**ou will find a path to peace and serenity,
Health, wholeness, forgiveness, and balance

I do not know of these things
They concern me and seem very foreign to my life
What if I find a dark version of myself inside
What then?

You have all the chances you need to do this inner seeking
You can do it now, you can do this later
Eventually you will do to this work, one way or another
Seeking within though, is the most direct path to wholeness

The hardship you feel is every bit about being separated from Divine Energy
You live in body and think that is All There Is
That is only a tiny portion of who you are
Your present time is just as it is, so you can heal and expand your knowing

This is the real blessing of being in body
Seize the chance this lifetime gives you
You will never regret a single decision
Made in the context of seeking more peace and wholeness

Truths confirmed by Divine Knowing about Guardian Angels

1. Guardian Angels can change over time. The change is determined by the issues you are working with and is connected to your level of consciousness and your level of knowing of Oneness.
2. You must ask for the help you seek, even of Guardian Angels.
3. All requests are heard and responded to with the most appropriate energy for your soul’s learning.
4. The primary purpose of your Guardian Angel is to see that you accomplish your life’s purpose. So sometimes, what you think you need is seen differently by your Guardian Angel.
5. Anything you ask for your soul’s expansion is given but sometimes not in the time frame you expect nor in the way you expect it to be given.

When I am in Silence
I feel larger than my body
I feel I can expand and expand
I feel lighter and connected

I long to know
How to bring this Peace with me
Into my daily life
Into my every cell

I need to feel connection
All the day and all the night
In happiness and in self-attack
In doubt and in fear

I long to walk without worry
To see without anxiety
To be the connected One I may remember
From another time and place

Show me what I fear
So deeply to keep it hidden
So profoundly to keep me disconnected
So thoroughly that I believe it

The Light in Silence tells another story
About all my goodness
Even though it is fleeting
Because, maybe I can’t believe it?

Why do I feel so dark about me?
I do not want to be here, again and again
I want that Peace in Silence
To stay with me every moment of the day

Help me make new choices
For what I give my power to
For what I see as my smallness
For how I think about myself

Something is off here
My thoughts say, “not enough,
Not successful, not lovable,
Not worthy, yourself to blame”

My heart says look again
Command the darkness out
You are of the Light
Your thoughts are not the You, you seek

My dearest Beloved and I walk a while together, such peace
We speak of nothing, we appreciate the lush greenness
My lungs expand to fill with cool air
I sense the Peace filling my body and optimism returning
Easy vibrations fill me up, so totally supportive and delicious
Yet I sigh with knowing I must return

My earthly existence beckons me back, the wonder and the grind both
Deeply within, I long to escape the issues facing me
I long to reside with my Beloved Divine all the time
I sense the deep desire to commune with All That Is
I would rather not plow through every challenge facing me
I would rather be still and unfurl into my Wholeness

Old familiar fears and doubt cast me into worried futures and unresolved pasts
I do have the choice to remain in the present, though it fades in and out
My mind sings a song of mistrust and anxiety
My heart so valiantly tries to play a different tune
My mind holds me hostage along with every fear I have ever imagined
My heart must lead though, it is here the Peace is and the struggle calms

Once again, as I actually stay in the present, I do not miss my Beloved
I remember I can be happy in the present moment
Nothing need call to me in this moment but that which is right before me
Unless I move into regret or give voice to anticipation, I am safe
I can ride the present wave and create all that is needed
Loving wholeness moving moment to moment, suspended in the Now

This poem is written in first person and in the present moment. It captures part of my healing journey in the past. It also captures the journeys of several of my clients through their years of healing and is based on the feelings and stories they have shared with me.

I have been unwell for over 20 years
I think of myself as unable to heal
I suffer some of every week, most days in fact
I keep trying to heal and I keep being unwell

My world is filled with pain and sadness
I have little energy most days
I would love to be normal
I would love to have things run smoothly
In my body and in my life

I have become accustomed to illness
I have lots of doctors
I have lots of tests and meds in my daily routine
I am without much lasting joy
though it does show up sometimes

SEEKING THESE 20 YEARS

I found a way to be quiet
I found a way to look at my feelings
I found a way to listen to the still small voice
I found that I am not my illnesses

I found a way to disconnect from the past
I found a way to look at all that hurts
I found a way to command the fears out
I found that I am more than my old stories

I found a way to listen
I found a way to set down
I found a way to ask for help
I found a way to trust I could be well
I found that getting well begins within

Did I come willingly seeking Divine Knowing?
Absolutely not
I came kicking and screaming
Furious and in severe pain

I came with profound anger, rage, and indignation
I came with pride and ego in unhealthy portions
I came with self-condemnation and judgement
I came broken beyond belief

I eventually gave Divine Source the time of day
The doors were astoundingly still open to me
In all my disillusionment and blame
In my self-created darkness, I could still enter

I was so full of rage it took years to clear the inner sources
Years to write out all of the furiousness of my existence
Seven years of daily digging up pain brought me to
Know I was eternally loved, warts and all

The warts were the point of this life
I was to look at all my issues, name them and cast them out
I was to work in partnership with Divine Beings
Those who had already done this and knew the way

This journey is available to all beings who seek
Ask and you shall receive
More than you can possibly imagine
We are here to journey within to Peace