poetry

beyond the stuffed spurious schedules
past all devastating trauma and unrelenting tension
there lies a space of openness and grace
awaiting your arrival in perfect timing

there is always an opening there for you
space to be, to listen, to hope, to dream
divine connection awaits your seeking
divine wisdom knows your name

you are accounted for with every breath of your being
every hair on your head is known to the Oneness
this begins at first birth and continues eternally
as you make your way through all life’s roadblocks

proactive effort can speed this along
setting down fears, doubts, and negative expectations
calling out the anger, blame, and self-flagellation,
clears up ancient imbalances, suffering, and pain

but simply showing up in a space where nothing is needed from you
begins to reignite the Sacred connection that has always been
even if you are depressed, feeling failure or in deep pain
there is respite in creating an opening for reaching beyond self

goodness, balance, abundance, and hope
await you through your inner journey to loving self
humor, joy, delight, and satisfaction
accompany the journey into inner peace

that is, after all the wailing and self blame
after all the soul crushing fear that you may not be enough
after all the amends have been faced and attended to
after all the woe, loss, and protection of self have softened

somehow though rather miraculously
just opening to Silence while seeking help
begins the journey to Wholeness
that awaits every single one of you

through every form you ever take
through every time you close yourself off
through every profound loss you have
through every soul devastating event you experience

the Oneness is always waiting and open to you
the still small voice of love and encouragement
never fades no matter how long we take
to arrive and know It again for the first time*

* From TS Eliot, The Four Quartets

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time. “

Goodness is all around but I am consumed by fear
Fear of not being enough, fear of being alone
Fear of aging, fear of not being lovable
Fear of living in poverty, without joy

I get totally caught up with all my fears
They loom just in the background
Then they pounce upon the scene
Catching me off guard and unprepared

I usually then just crumble and enter darkness
Give in to the power of the fears
Wallow in them a few days, overeating, self-bashing
Until I somehow come into greater balance

This endless cycle is the dark side of me
I seem to always be trying to avoid facing the fears
Trying to hide from them so they won’t “get me”
But really the fears keep erupting over and over again

I am not my fears
But goodness knows they run me
I want to outpace every one of my fears
Escape to a fearless space of balance

How to begin?
How to get rid of these obsessions?
How to be my best, fearless self?
How to pull more of my goodness to the forefront?

If this is even a tiny bit of where you are, turn to your eternal self. That is found inside, in the quietness, in the listening part of you. That part of you that is beyond the body and mind, and beyond the doing. That part of you that is eternal and always connected to the Greater Whole.

Every single one of you has this part of you within. But it stays in the background until you seek more balance, more peace and more fear free living. Consciously stop doing, enter into stillness and breathe. Try doing this lying down. When you begin to feel a quietness, soak that energy in and let it fill your entire being. As the quietness and breathing begin to settle you, bring your most fearful energy forward for rebalancing.

Consciously bring the fear energy into the Lightness you are experiencing. Call for that fear to clear your energy field from wherever you first took it into you. Call for it to be transformed by the Silence, the Balance and the Wholeness you are experiencing. Give thanks and return to the tranquil space you are creating for yourself.

Do this often. It works. It is one way to fear free living.

When I am mired in the minutia of life, I sometimes lose myself
I wonder why the grind keeps calling me to attention
I get into production, creating, and reaction flows
That I know so very well, I forget to drink my favorite tea

I forget to water my beloved plants
I stop looking up to the cerulean blueness of our planet
I forget to eat and stay seated far too long
I stop deep breathing and stretching

When I emerge, I feel both delighted and stunned
Hours have passed and I have dutifully accomplished my goals
But my sense of peace has been neglected, set aside
And I wish again that I knew how to both produce and stay connected

I long to live this life with bountiful ease and grace
But sometimes determination to produce is a delight
I love the ability to concentrate with all my being
With my heart and my mind and my energy

I would also like to remember to take a break
Smell the roses and think about my blessings
Take the time to be at peace in the production mode
To be both productive and lovingly attentive

I do owe this to myself
So perhaps this is about loving self
In a happy, renewing way
Remembering to be my best keeper

Perhaps I am a bit afraid that
In taking a break or a deep breath
I will not have the commitment
To return to the production grind

Perhaps these habits are really about fear
Fear that I won’t accomplish what I want to
That I can only focus on one thing at a time
That if I deviate from my goals, I will fail

There always seems to be other areas of growth
Calling to me to attend, to realize, to take note
Nudging me towards more love for self and others
Keeping me moving forward using the fullness of me

So, I commit to more little love breaks
More time to reconnect with the blessings I have
More time to trust that all is well, even if I take time to breath
Even if I stop, make my favorite tea, and drink it up completely!\

You who seek peace find the road in fits and starts
Events occur that seem awful but are for your own healing
It can seem there is no how-to language book for Spiritual evolution
However, wholeheartedly seek peace and it comes your way

Set down all expectations of what getting to peace looks like
Lasting peace lies beyond all challenges and inconveniences
Hides behind pain, frustration, anger, self-flagellation, and guilt
Explore within, listen deeply, and seek the root of the imbalance

Humbly accept that 10 times out of 10, the core imbalance is within you
Has been waiting until you can pay attention and get the real message
Waiting until all the needed previous healing has been addressed
Bringing you to the deep dwelling darkness, just waiting for healing

All your anger, frustration, rage, and irritation get you absolutely nowhere
Those feelings make up the endless stream of life’s drama
Those emotions are wearing to the mind, body, and soul
They zap your energy and motivation to be peaceful inside

Negative emotions manifest and challenge your very sense of yourself
They literally weigh you down as they barely vibrate, draining other energy
Causing push back, angst, and discord throughout your life
Manifesting as huge traumas repeating over and over again

They exist because the fierce emotions get your attention immediately
They cause a reaction that you can not ignore
Repeated anger, shame, fear, or guilt are impossible to ignore
They are ringing your doorbell, a call to pay attention now

Before inner seeking, you think the strong emotions are the right answer
Though they are the total opposite from the desired reaction
After thousands of strong reactions and draining feelings
A blessed few go inside to seek peace, answers, and release from being triggered

Wonderful, that is an awesome first step!
The inner landscape with a quiet connection to Spirit
Can help you truly understand the lessons waiting to be learned
The buried darkness manifesting as outer negative emotions

So if you have tumultuous drama in your life of any kind
This is actually a call to Silence, and inner seeking
It is a call to wake up to that which no longer serves you
It is a call to listen deeply to your inner knowing for change to occur

You can ignore these inner callings manifesting as conflict or mishaps
For as many lifetimes as you so desire
They will still be waiting for you, the next time around
Through ever increasing difficulties urging you to act

How many more lifetimes do you want to repeat the same problems ?
How may more conflicts and negative feelings are you going to endure?
Until you take a long, look inside to see what may be not be serving you
And determine what you need to set down and command out of your energy field

New relationships, different work settings, new duds, or new surroundings
Will keep presenting the same tough issues, until you get it
Until you listen within for what is out of balance
Until you name the stuck unseen energy and command it out of your field

Resistance is futile
The same issues repeat over and over again
Throughout all eternity
Until you clear away the detritus and discover peace within

I like the idea of inner peace but truly I am always close to turmoil
I have either just come from turmoil or am just about to enter into it
I know if I can get a free day to do anything I want, that helps
I know if I take a Silence break, I can feel some peace and lightness

I wrestle with my mind lots of the time
I have these feelings of not being good enough
At what, it does not seem to matter
Just generally feeling not good enough permeates my mind

I do sometimes have peaks of satisfaction and joy
I do have moments of real peace and presence
I would love to have more of these but I often get sideswiped
When I least expect that and I find myself getting taken out

Anger is a tough nut to crack
It rises up and I can’t seem to just let it go
It feels like it is trying to get out of me
That it knows I would be better off without it

Seeking some inner peace is something I want to be better at
I sometimes sit and go inside with breath and quiet
When I get to a quiet mind, I can feel lighter
I can touch to a flowing energy of order and ease

The issue is why do I push so hard?
Why don’t I make time to breathe and relax?
What is so important that I rush around all the time?
Perhaps I don’t feel I deserve to feel ease and peace?

I call in more love for myself, more deep wellness and kindness
I call in more flowing grace in my life, with laughter and delight
I call in more kindness for myself and towards others
I call in more healing grace for all the things I think I need to carry

If there is a space of Divine order, I call that in for me too
I want to be more loving, happy, and peaceful
I set down all the darkness, worry, and anger I have packed away
I open this day to joy, loving kindness, inner peace, and hope

I stumbled into Silence dragging my anger behind
Urgently seeking something I could not describe
I was a cheerful, happy person on the outside
An angry, blaming, and furious one on the inside

I did not intend to be angry with myself and others
It just came boiling forth when I least expected it
For the life of me, I could not stop it
It was as if a switch turned on and another person took over

Then came the shame, the apologies, the determination to do better
I blamed my constant back pain, my work demands
I blamed my upbringing, my family, and my friends
I blamed myself most of all as I again vowed to stem the anger

Who would choose to live with a person like me?
A kettle poised to boil over any time, day or night
My insides tightly coiled while balancing everything
With the profound determination to do it all, perfectly

I staggered into Silence to test the waters
I sought something that seemed elusive and undefined
I had no idea what lay crawling and writhing beneath my surface
Anger just simmered slowly, waiting for the ignition of the flames

When the burn came roaring in, as it always did
I was fabulous at this expression of rage and power
I was a masterful example of a woman scorned
I was always right in this one-sided state of explosion

It took me years to walk away when I exploded
It took me hours in Silence to remember I was loved
It took profoundly deep tears to forgive my behavior
It took countless hours naming all the fear fueling my rage

I would not have survived without finding Silence
Somehow in Sacred Space, I could not hide
I could not use excuses, I had to face my demons
I had to see the poison I was creating through my anger

So I wrote from my deep heart, cried, and tried again
I sought deliverance from myself and I felt my heart sigh
I was filled with an uncanny vibrational presence
That felt like God’s love to me, even as I questioned it

As I painfully acknowledged all my anger and attack energy
I began to realize that somehow, miraculously, I was still loved
My behavior was not me, it was something I could address
I even felt the thrill of Divine Presence within when I spoke the truth

I finally got that I just needed to stay on the path
To wholeness, to truth, to continue seeking peace
All else was given, continuously, again and again
My job was to work through every last morsel of anger

I spent hundreds of hours writing out my woe
Dear God was always my intro, designed to keep me honest
All the accusing, writhing, self-denunciating, despicable me
Laid out scrupulously revealed as an offering to Divine Source

We finally finished our journey of anger and rage
I began to have months and then years with no outbursts
I began to think I was done with the inner seeking, the shame
Then we began anew to work on judgment, again and again

Wish me luck and stamina
I know we will slay this dragon someday
I know I am not alone as long as I show up
As long as I keep myself in a humble place of trying
All is good and I will be truly whole!

There is something wild and expansive about my God
Together, we touch this human form of me
When I feel alone, it is hard to see the me in God
The Eternal connection keeps reassuring

I so need to feel that thrilling pulsing vibration
The one that tells me I am not alone
The one that calls to me softly and physically
Through my heart and skin and bones

At first I thought I was simply lightheaded
However, those feelings kept repeating
Until I understood that the vibration
Was my conscious awareness of Divine Energy with me

There is a magnificent thrill with that vibration
The delight of being quietly in bed and receiving
The ability and wonder of calling the Presence to me
My heart being swirled with that love

The lightness within has a gentling effect on me
Now the loving feelings come when I call
The self-critic and the fear had to go
They were not good company for us

For when I tried to open to Spirit
In a space of judgement and worry
I could not feel a real connection
I made the best of it I could

Now when looking back
I was just play acting
Holding a Sacred Soul Space for Spirit
Even before I was ready to meet

We have a wonderful quiet space now
Where I can go night or day
We know we are connected to each other
Even though we are still finding our way.

When darkness descends, my good feelings get ambushed
They cannot rise, flow, and swirl around me
There is no light energy to cajole me out of my slump

The fear of being depressed doubles the actual energy enveloping me
Pain, sorrow, loss, fear, shame, black energy and utter overwhelm
Swallows up all motivation, stamina, and endurance I would so love to feel

Choices abound but they come with major side effects
Often leading to more draining energies and self-dejection
More fear of being yet again emotionally handicapped

The drugs cover over the depression and do not heal
The endless therapy sessions go mostly nowhere
The road seems void of good, powerful, and lasting solutions

The fear of being overtaken looms around every action
The reality of not being able to get out of bed
Becomes the relentless tug of war to keep pretending I can cope

I ache for a solution that really works
How many more years of dismal, restricting energy
Can a body take? Who is listening out there, anyway?

I so yearn for lightness, laughter, heart warming abandon
I have tried everything I can possibly find
To help me come into lasting emotional balance

There is one who says I can clear for all the blocked energy
Showing up as depression and all the specific symptoms I have
As I fear dipping again into weeks of darkness and loss

She says healing is possible when we work with Divine Source
She says it is my birthright to clear all darkness from my field
She says I could be normal, depression free, and happy again
Should I try yet again to become free from depression?

There is so much of my self wrapped up with depression
I am a total pessimist in one part of me about my chances
But I so want to soar without this albatross about my neck

Who is saying I have to live this way
Things change, I change, I may find a way forward
I may give her stuff a try, even though I am still afraid to really hope

She calls it depression trauma energy and all symptoms
She says I can totally call for the healing myself
She says she can help me find a healing pathway

When this crippling darkness passes this time
I hope I will reach out and seek this healing way
I hope I can find my way to a place someday where I can
Give back to others because I have become whole again

________________

If you are dealing with depression or any other chronic condition, use these resources. They can help you heal yourself even if you have tried everything! Take this free simple tutorial as step 1 to get you started in naming what needs to heal. For step 2, use the Six-Step Spiritual Healing Protocol as a basic first level clearing with your specific imbalance. Begin step three as you move to deeper chronic root imbalances affecting your specific imbalance. Complete step four and you will have cleared many stuck types of energy at very deep levels regarding the specific imbalance. Then the balance you seek is possible! Give yourself 10 days and if you still have symptoms repeat steps 2,3, and 4. Sometimes repeated healing is needed when you are dealing with chronic issues.

For more information, get The Six-Step Spiritual Healing Protocol book on Amazon.

Mother Earth is hurting daily
She is God’s Presence in form
Here to support our human journeys
Yet, repeatedly trying to warn us about her plight

We cannot hear her speak to us
We deny her specific intelligence
We desecrate entire areas of her Being
Through ignorance, greed, and apathy

Pray for the healing of our Mother Earth
Pray for the restoration of her vast imbalances
Pray for her profound degradation, to penetrate our knowing
Pray for Divine Energy to help us understand her importance

The beauty and splendor of Mother Earth is all around us
Draw in her nurturing and healing vibrations
Take time to expand into nature, to unfurl your energy
To breath in the wonder energy of the Divine

Mother Earth exists to show us another way to peace
She presents vast and varied forms, we need but look to see them
Nature’s gifts are freely given to all humans
Soak in the Divine vibrations of her beauty and splendor

Mother Earth calls out to us daily somewhere across the globe
Causing the heat, the destruction, the fury, and the invitation
To listen, watch, think, and change our destructive ways
To open our hearts to how we are desecrating her presence

When we are in nature, we are close to Divine Energy
We are able to delight in the delicate blooms Mother Earth produces
We are able to feel the power of the vast blue seas
We are able to set down our daily worries through the beauty she creates

She however is suffering deeply from our inability to honor her among us
To attend to her needs for the earth, the air, the sky, and the sea
Who among us desires to have Mother Earth continue to be degraded?
Who among us will step up to honor and nurture our Mother Earth?

Revelation and praise, singing and grace
They all have gratitude in common
The cultivation of appreciation
Expanding the mind’s capacity for loving

Loving is more than an ideal
It is a series of small steps towards Peace
It does not come effortlessly
For all around us are numerous contrary actions

Choosing love is an act of courage
It is in defiance of ever present darkness
It is in opposition to meanness, bullying, and prejudice
It breeds powerful healing and replication

Loving is a mind set for the brave
It is pabulum for the courageous
Love is profoundly transformational
It can heal myriads of dark deeds

Love is free, not available for the right price
Love is not known to the faint of heart
Love does not dwell in the fascination of attraction
Nor the actions of passion masquerading as love

Love is born of our activated integrity
It takes it place among the humble
It thrives on kindness and grace
It underlies every good and kind act ever experienced

Appreciation and gratitude are part of the love cluster
Both being outwards expressions of love
Cultivate acceptance, inclusivity, and allowing
Grow your smile, your tenderness, and your patience

Love is sure to follow in unexpected ways
Love pops up when the heart is being warmed
Love swoops in when wee ones are present
Love is always just around the corner, waiting for an opening

Specialize in creating chances for love
Manifest unexpected acts of generosity
Tender your resignation from egoic preening
Return to the Silence for needed sustenance

The cluster of love acts is limitless
The timing for love acts is timeless
The breadth for love acts is infinite
The rewards for love acts are eternal