facing fears

May 16 2019

Just Aging or Inner Struggle

I hurt, feel listless, and nothing helps
I take my medications and I get exercise
And still I hurt some of every day
I am discouraged, I must be getting older

My systems are sluggish and draggy
I feel strong, stuck, lurking emotions
They bubble up and I keep pushing them away
They feel buried, deeply hidden, but still agitating

My gut is a mess due to too much sugar
Too much rich food and drink
Too many simple carbs and sweets
Sugar treats everyday and twice on holidays

Food and drink help me celebrate and forget
Because inside I feel alone, disconnected, and empty
My feelings of being lost and unfocused loom,
Improve a bit, return, and eventually overwhelm

My body screams at me about being out of balance
Out of touch with All That Is and myself
I continue ignoring the small indications of trouble
While time passes and all issues grow larger

I just keep on keeping on, in ole’ familiar ways
Then pain strikes, days feel lackluster
Migraines take an upturn, wakeful nights begin repeating
Every part of my mind, body, and soul now on the edge

I have to stop and listen because medicines only work
For a short time when congestion remains inside
I know I should seek out the blocked and stuck places
And find a path forward that really works

However, I really prefer to not focus on this inner stuff
Even as my body continues to yell, scream, and cajole
Demanding the needed changes, aching daily
For balance, peace, health, and clearing

I’ve been told I get all the help I need by asking in devotion
By staying the course, by clearing, and trying to love
By commanding out fear, anger, shame, and apathy
By returning and returning to Silence for more guidance

It still seems easier to let all this fall on my deaf ears
To continue to feel invincible, pretend I’m good enough
Blowing off steam when I am angry and irritated
Totally denying I have settled for pain and suffering

I know how to play at being just fine
Know how to put on my no care in the world face
Only I truly know that act is a pack of lies
And, yes, my body continues to tell me the truth

I really, really do not want to do this work
It is so hard to look inside at what is not working
Or maybe that is just my mind playing tricks on me
Keeping me from giving my all to be my best self

May 08 2019

Clear Stuck Emotions

The love of God/Divine Source/The Great Oneness is beyond all human imagination. Yet, you can regularly touch to that energy through Silence. There is always an open door to this Divine energy and love. There is always a way forward to this Divine Source of support and healing grace. There is an endless supply of Divine Love and Divine Communication for every person in body.

Why can’t you fully access it? There are blocked energies in the way from your mind, soul, and possibly your body that interfere with your ability to receive this energy as fully as you desire. You have to consistently return to Silence to determine what you must release to enable your energy to commune with The Divine. Meditation is the doorway to the conscious opening to the Love of God. God energy is vibrational energy. If you are angry, judgmental, self-denigrating, self-absorbed, fearful, prideful, depressed, worried, grieving or feeling shame, it will take clearing these energies for yourself so you can consciously feel the Love of All That Is. You create all the negative noise on the line between yourself and Divine Love. However, you have everything you need to clear these energies and feel the vibrational presence of Divine Source/The Great Oneness/God.

Make the choice for Love. Make the choice for looking inside. What are you afraid you will find that keeps you from trying? For many people, there is fear of finding a person who is not worthy of Divine Love. This is most often not on the conscious level but resides in our unconscious energy. Everyone is affected by perceived imperfections and many choose to cover up those perceived imperfections. However, working on more peace and acceptance of self and others is precisely why you are in body in the first place. You have more healing work to do until you manifest Love, Peace, and Kindness in all situations. This process begins with seeking. Seek the Divine Love that is always there for you to discover.

The perceived imperfections you think you have are actually present to help you seek within. If you get angry enough that you feel worn down and nothing outside of yourself works, you may eventually find your way within to address the anger you feel. This is true of any set of strong emotions that are not helping you. Take shame, fear of failure, grief, apathy, loneliness, unworthiness, unforgiveness, guilt, rage, blame or self-hate, and begin your clearing of these energies from your energy field. In fact, this is exactly the way to begin going inside and doing your work. Take any strong emotion that is not helping you and sit with it in Sacred Space. Seek support and transformation of that emotion. Write about it, listen, take it into Sacred Space and command it out of your energy field. There is some reason you are carrying unhelpful emotions. Resolve to work on those emotions that are not serving you.

If you take one step towards clearing unhelpful emotions, the rest will be given to you until you arrive where you want to be. Keep returning to your own inner work and clearing unhelpful emotions. You may well find with healing of stuck emotional, physical imbalances clear up as well. Your body will manifest all sorts of imbalances to try to get you to pay attention to the underlying feelings that produce enough dissonance for the body to be out of balance.

Just start this inner journey or return to one you may have already started. You will never regret this choice!

Apr 22 2019

Activate Divine Connection

Many people secretly would love to connect with Divine Source/Spirit/God especially if it just happens. Who wouldn’t love to connect with an all loving, all accepting, forever forgiving, ever expanding, loving Force of Energy? Divine Presence energy is trustworthy, has your highest needs in mind, gives you as many chances as you need to make loving changes for yourself, and is always available day or night.

However, repeating small choices to do other things with your time and interests take precedence. You perhaps have tried and “failed” due to your perception of what that Divine Connection should look like. Perhaps you don’t believe in Divine Presence, Divine Energy, Divine Source at all because of unfair losses, unfulfilling houses of worship, or having “tried everything” and never felt connected. Thus, you may have become skeptical of the entire idea of Divine Source/God/Pure Love Energy.

Frequently deep sorrow, depression, addiction, loss, guilt, rage, pain, illness or failures leads us back to our inner selves. In fact, the very reason we have repeating imbalances is a call back to our inner selves. Your inner self is where you can connect with Divine Source. External experiences rarely bring you in one fell swoop to Divine Connection. There may be experiences that point you in the right direction but you have to make an active choice for Divine Connection, Love, and mutual interaction for Divine Connection to manifest.

You can return innumerable times into body form without actively pursuing Divine Connection. However, if you are thinking, YES, I want to pursue this, make an active choice to begin the journey. I started by writing my heart out and addressed it all to Dear God. I put all my anger, frustrations, small-mindedness, irritations, judgements, and self blame into thousands of pages to Divine Source. Help and loving healing energy were always the answers. I knew nothing about what I am doing now, at that time. I just began. So can you. Start writing to God/Divine Source/The Great Oneness even about what you do not believe but wish you did. YOU WILL BE LED.

Try repeatedly to listen within to the still small voice, your own intuition. You are connecting with Divine Source. At your core, you are already one with Divine Source even if you do not believe this, act on this, or grow this. It is still Eternal Truth. If you feel you can’t connect, that is where the work is. If anger comes up, clear* for the anger and try again. If self-judgement comes up, clear* for the self-judgement and try again. Continually clear* the blocked energies you have taken on that separate you from Peace, Joy, Health, and Divine Connection and you will expand your conscious knowing of All That Is/God, every single time you do this.

You do not have to be perfect to connect with Divine Spirit. You do have to seek unceasingly, again and again. I consciously spent 7 years in profound Silence working on all my junk that kept me from connecting with God/All That Is. I learned all I had to do was to begin and keep it up! The work has been to bring all the ways, places, interactions, situations, and relationships where I am separated from Peace, from my highest self, from balance, and from Love to the dialogue with Divine Source. This has NOTHING to do with what other people are doing or not doing. It has everything to do with my feelings, thoughts, fears, doubts, self-protections and judgments.

Everything that happens in life is a learning opportunity. Even the toughest situations have eventually been revealed as needed learning for me. I know this is true for my clients as well. Seek with an open mind. You are already hard wired to connect with The Great Oneness!! If you continue to return to your own inner thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, frustrations, anger, sorrows, and hatreds, you will clear all imbalances from your energy field in time. Work in Sacred Space. There is a completely different reality of peace, happiness, health, and success awaiting you if you begin to seek Divine Connection. Activating your Divine Connection is the fastest, most direct and profound way to expand your consciousness. Activate your journey to Divine Connection! You will never regret it.

* Use the Six-Step Healing Protocol for clearing anything that is out of balance for you.

Apr 04 2019

Humans in Spiritual Training

A voice emerged amidst the dreams:

You are a human being in training
You are a chip off the ‘ole block
You are eternal having a human experience
You are human created from Divine Source

You have total free will
You are blessed with infinite possibilities
You are loved beyond all understanding
You get eternal replays with every life

You get all the chances you need
To make good, loving, and balanced decisions
Even when you mess up repeatedly
Unconditional love is always yours

You remain unaware of your true value
You fear, you judge, you push, you doubt
Creating profound unworthiness
That does not belong to you

You belittle, chastise, think poorly of yourself
For all kinds of unhealed reasons that
Put you out of sorts, again and again
And keep you from feeling joyful

You have a creative and powerful mind
You have consciousness and free reign
Yet the unhealed detritus of your life looms
Ever waiting for you to name, face, and heal

Love is what you must cultivate
Continuous love of self and all others
Love of every challenge that helps you grow
Love of all mistakes you make along the way

You come into life to learn more about
The love and wholeness that is truly you
You come to retrain your mind for compassion
You have endless repeating lives to make amends

You are continuously invited to get with your inner self
You feel there is not enough time to look within
You succumb to the seduction of your life
You are lured into distractions, away from needed inner work

One day there will be something you can not ignore
You will be off and running on the road to Oneness
Passionately seeking as never before
Full heartedly focused on your journey to wholeness

The choice is yours, ad infinitum
You can return as many times as you want
To a life where your unhealed energies still await
One day, you will pick one up and take it to completion

And then deep sleep was restored.

Feb 26 2019

The Struggle

I am so totally unsettled again today
I can’t seem to find my way to balance
It was fleetingly here yesterday
It escapes me over the smallest of issues

The things that show up along the way
Push my buttons and create those inner rumbles
I am angry and loud, thrashing and impatient
I despair of ever walking with ease and grace again

How did I get here?
What missteps did I take?
Where do I go to find a break?
Is anyone out there who can help?

I wonder if I would even realize
If the road most needed appeared
In this morass of stress and pushing
I would probably just drive on by

No one really knows how bad it is
I keep this all under wraps
Except when I blow for no reason
Then I at least know, the jig is up

But interestingly, it all blows over
No one demands my resignation
No one confronts me on my arrogance
Am I the only one who registers the turmoil ?

My pattern of coping is crippled at best
I go to drinks, I go to smokes,
I go to food, I go to extravagance
They all leave me utterly empty

I really need to sit and be with all of this
I am always running away from looking within
I am profoundly afraid of what I will find
I may find I am unworthy of peace

What awaits me then?
I am touching bottom here
I am in fear of who I have become
I fear I have forever lost my way

I command in the help I need
I know it not within my daily world
I command in the love I have heard about
I need that love and I need it now