Whenever Joyce looked in the mirror, she was angry with herself and angry at her body and mad with the world. She was heavier than she wanted to be and had been that way for over 10 years. The negative messages were really getting more and more self-punishing. “You are good for nothing, you are a lazy bum, you are ugly, ugly, ugly, you are a failure”, etc. Saying that everyday was like taking a poison bath in the morning. She often had to have three cups of coffee to counteract the lethargy that immediately descended upon her after taking her shower, where she also saw her body in the mirror. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind she thought that saying such awful things might motivate her to do something about her weight and general health. These raw self messages though made her feel worse and worse over time.
Bob feels a deep loneliness in his life which descends upon him regularly on Friday evenings. He has been through lots of relationship but none of them have worked out.
He wants to be in a great relationship where he can love and be loved. He spends weekends going from bar to bar hoping to meet someone of interest. That is mostly depressing and he often comes home with his insides churning from a sense of failure. He has lost weight, is increasingly down and has nearly constant indigestion at this point. This malaise is creeping into his weekdays as well. His thoughts are filled with images of being alone and of feeling unlovable. Bob is still trying out new places on the weekends but he is pretty sure he will continue to fail.
One way to work out negative feelings towards ourselves is to do something or find some place where we do feel good about ourselves and hope it transfers to the areas we are beating ourselves up about. Giving to others is a tried and true way to generate love within. We can also try new things such as diets, dating services, exercise, reading other’s stories, or travel in the hopes of finding something to blast us out of where we are. All these steps could bring us some relief.
We probably all know if what we are doing does not work, we need to try something else. However, realizing we are doing the same thing over and over again which is not working, is the kicker. Something about a familiar though unhelpful pattern is better than the unfamiliar, more risky option. Clearly though, repeating what is not working is a road to more pain.
What to do? TAKE THE FEELINGS INTO SILENCE FOR HELP.
Imagine there is a space inside of you where you are truly loved, because there is. Imagine that you can go there whenever you want to, because you can. Imagine that there is a plan for you full of abundance and joy, because there is. Simply sit and speak to the Divine Universe, which is all ears.
People ask me what I do in Silence. I open the space with Divine Energy. I invite all Divine forms of energy to join with me for the purpose of creating more wholeness and peace. I am still for as long as I can be which varies by the session. Then I scan my sadness and my fear and I speak of it out loud so that I can call in Divine Help in alleviating the stuckness I feel. Working with Divine Intervention, Knowing, Love and Presence informs and fuels my intention to feel better about myself. When I release my sadness and my fear, I feel better. When I call in Divine Intervention right into the source of my sorrow and sense of failure, I experience a shift in the heaviness of carrying those misperceptions I have been feeling.
Each person has internal Light which we were born with. It may be dimmed though through unloving messages from our growing up, due to traumas in our lives or by unloving messages from our own personal fears.
We have not however come here without a rudder, without direction, or without purpose. The feeling though of sailing without a rudder may well be an indication that we might go within and ask for help. When we do this, we then have to wait knowing that we have been heard and we will get all the help we need. This help may not be in the form we expect to receive it. This help may still require us to do something new, to risk.
If you are not sure you “have done enough to get the help you need” here are a few pointers.
1. Do not judge by appearances. If you go into Silence and then immediately go out and do just exactly what you have done before the Silence, like berate yourself, simply stop. Accept that you are between unhealed and healed, which you are. Realize that you have moved closer to wholeness, through that realization alone. Congratulate yourself and let it go.
2. Talk to yourself in a loving way, such as, “this thought is not loving and has no power, so I let it go.” ” I am lovable and capable.” ” I am getting all the help I need even though now, I do feel lousy.” ” I call into my life good thoughts and feelings about myself and ask for help in guiding me to people and places where this can occur.”
3. Ask once and give it time to manifest in your life. Do not pick up your issue every day and re-ask for the same help, as if you have not been heard. If you can’t help doing this, figure out what fear you are still carrying that is fueling this response. It could be the fear of not deserving any help in this life. A feeling of fear can completely block your receiving the support you seek. Go after the fear face on! Call for the Light to dispel this fear you have. Fear has only the power we, ourselves, give it.
Love is the absolute way to Wholeness. Love and joy are ours when we face our fears and let them go. Loving oneself manifests Wholeness. When we face tough issues alone though, we often can’t access enough Love ourselves to shift our energy. That is one MAJOR reason to work through it with Divine Presence which is within. There is ALWAYS enough Love to take us to Wholeness if we seek within, in the Silence.
The first step towards Loving oneself to Wholeness is often the hardest. Ask, seek, sit in stillness, scan for fears and sadness and wait holding the space for shifting energy. Wholeness can come to each and every one of us. Love is everywhere present, all knowing and all powerful. Loving oneself is one major highway to Wholeness. Try it and let me know what you find.