Coming Out of Illness

This poem is written in first person and in the present moment. It captures part of my healing journey in the past.  It also captures the journeys of several of my clients through their years of healing and is based on the feelings and stories they have shared with me.

I have been unwell for over 20 years
I think of myself as unable to heal
I suffer some of every week, most days in fact
I keep trying to heal and I keep being unwell

My world is filled with pain and sadness
I have little energy most days
I would love to be normal
I would love to have things run smoothly
In my body and in my life

I have become accustomed to illness
I have lots of doctors
I have lots of tests and meds in my daily routine
I am without much lasting joy
though it does show up sometimes

SEEKING THESE 20 YEARS

I found a way to be quiet
I found a way to look at my feelings
I found a way to listen to the still small voice
I found that I am not my illnesses

I found a way to disconnect from the past
I found a way to look at all that hurts
I found a way to command the fears out
I found that I am more than my old stories

I found a way to listen
I found a way to set down
I found a way to ask for help
I found a way to trust I could be well
I found that getting well begins within