I walk through my days protecting
Something feels very vulnerable
I cloak myself with ever ready vigilance
Against that which I sense is everywhere present

I feel attack energy ready to slay me
I see myself being irreparably hurt, betrayed, and abandoned
It has happened to others. They suffer
I could so easily be the next one to lose

I present my false self everywhere
I am protecting my real self all the time
I know the difference but I pretend I don’t
I pretend to be who I am not
I feel I need to be someone other than me
Then I may be safe
Then I may escape the darkness seeking me

How did I come to this?
What did I miss?
Why do I persist?
What have I yet to learn?
Where did my trust go?

Oh Divine One, hear my plea
I am lost in this place of pain and suffering
I know not why I have swallowed the fear
Why I have chosen self-protection
Why I have sought to hide
I am weary living like this
I can’t find my happy time

I need to feel your Presence
My connection is so broken
In all this confusion, I can’t find my center
I keep pretending so maybe there is nothing of me really present
Come into my heart and mind
Why is this happening to me?
Am I lovable at all?