I walk through my days protecting
Something feels very vulnerable
I cloak myself with ever ready vigilance
Against that which I sense is everywhere present
I feel attack energy ready to slay me
I see myself being irreparably hurt, betrayed, and abandoned
It has happened to others. They suffer
I could so easily be the next one to lose
I present my false self everywhere
I am protecting my real self all the time
I know the difference but I pretend I don’t
I pretend to be who I am not
I feel I need to be someone other than me
Then I may be safe
Then I may escape the darkness seeking me
How did I come to this?
What did I miss?
Why do I persist?
What have I yet to learn?
Where did my trust go?
Oh Divine One, hear my plea
I am lost in this place of pain and suffering
I know not why I have swallowed the fear
Why I have chosen self-protection
Why I have sought to hide
I am weary living like this
I can’t find my happy time
I need to feel your Presence
My connection is so broken
In all this confusion, I can’t find my center
I keep pretending so maybe there is nothing of me really present
Come into my heart and mind
Why is this happening to me?
Am I lovable at all?
Annie Greenleaf says
I am just now writing about vulnerability and I come to this your beautiful piece. Thank you blessed teacher and mentor to so many, thank you ~
Robbins Hopkins says
Thank you for your comment! I am pleased this piece spoke to you. We all have so much more in common than we at times realize. It is the hardest to speak about the inner darkness we all move through. Blessing on your writings.