Meanness Abounds

Oh God, I know I have a meanness within me
I know not where it comes from
As I feel it rear its ugly head
I still feel unable to curb it, at all

I am ashamed, so deeply ashamed
It is so familiar, I am painfully stunned to say
I know it too well for I have acted
upon that meanness all too often

I am the master of the preemptive strike
I am quick to lash out
in my total righteousness
I have focus for my anger, only,
For my view of that which is right

I feel untenable shame at my past actions
I need profound forgiveness
for vast amount of meanness and carelessness
I have hurt others through my fiery rage
I have often still felt in the Right
even after my striking out is over

My gnashing and sobbing do not begin to make amends
but perhaps I can start anew
I need to start anew, fresh again
to try and heal the meanness
that I have given my fierceness to
over and over again

I want the meanness and regret
to be cleansed from my energy
I want any love that still remains within
to grow and overflow outwards

I call within and without for this to manifest
For love to override the core of meanness within
I command the cleansing to commence, continue, and complete!
And, So It Is. And, So It Is.