seeking

Aug 29 2019

Anger Dispelled

I stumbled into Silence dragging my anger behind
Urgently seeking something I could not describe
I was a cheerful, happy person on the outside
An angry, blaming, and furious one on the inside

I did not intend to be angry with myself and others
It just came boiling forth when I least expected it
For the life of me, I could not stop it
It was as if a switch turned on and another person took over

Then came the shame, the apologies, the determination to do better
I blamed my constant back pain, my work demands
I blamed my upbringing, my family, and my friends
I blamed myself most of all as I again vowed to stem the anger

Who would choose to live with a person like me?
A kettle poised to boil over any time, day or night
My insides tightly coiled while balancing everything
With the profound determination to do it all, perfectly

I staggered into Silence to test the waters
I sought something that seemed elusive and undefined
I had no idea what lay crawling and writhing beneath my surface
Anger just simmered slowly, waiting for the ignition of the flames

When the burn came roaring in, as it always did
I was fabulous at this expression of rage and power
I was a masterful example of a woman scorned
I was always right in this one-sided state of explosion

It took me years to walk away when I exploded
It took me hours in Silence to remember I was loved
It took profoundly deep tears to forgive my behavior
It took countless hours naming all the fear fueling my rage

I would not have survived without finding Silence
Somehow in Sacred Space, I could not hide
I could not use excuses, I had to face my demons
I had to see the poison I was creating through my anger

So I wrote from my deep heart, cried, and tried again
I sought deliverance from myself and I felt my heart sigh
I was filled with an uncanny vibrational presence
That felt like God’s love to me, even as I questioned it

As I painfully acknowledged all my anger and attack energy
I began to realize that somehow, miraculously, I was still loved
My behavior was not me, it was something I could address
I even felt the thrill of Divine Presence within when I spoke the truth

I finally got that I just needed to stay on the path
To wholeness, to truth, to continue seeking peace
All else was given, continuously, again and again
My job was to work through every last morsel of anger

I spent hundreds of hours writing out my woe
Dear God was always my intro, designed to keep me honest
All the accusing, writhing, self-denunciating, despicable me
Laid out scrupulously revealed as an offering to Divine Source

We finally finished our journey of anger and rage
I began to have months and then years with no outbursts
I began to think I was done with the inner seeking, the shame
Then we began anew to work on judgment, again and again

Wish me luck and stamina
I know we will slay this dragon someday
I know I am not alone as long as I show up
As long as I keep myself in a humble place of trying
All is good and I will be truly whole!

Jul 25 2019

Depression – Becoming Whole Again

When darkness descends, my good feelings get ambushed
They cannot rise, flow, and swirl around me
There is no light energy to cajole me out of my slump

The fear of being depressed doubles the actual energy enveloping me
Pain, sorrow, loss, fear, shame, black energy and utter overwhelm
Swallows up all motivation, stamina, and endurance I would so love to feel

Choices abound but they come with major side effects
Often leading to more draining energies and self-dejection
More fear of being yet again emotionally handicapped

The drugs cover over the depression and do not heal
The endless therapy sessions go mostly nowhere
The road seems void of good, powerful, and lasting solutions

The fear of being overtaken looms around every action
The reality of not being able to get out of bed
Becomes the relentless tug of war to keep pretending I can cope

I ache for a solution that really works
How many more years of dismal, restricting energy
Can a body take? Who is listening out there, anyway?

I so yearn for lightness, laughter, heart warming abandon
I have tried everything I can possibly find
To help me come into lasting emotional balance

There is one who says I can clear for all the blocked energy
Showing up as depression and all the specific symptoms I have
As I fear dipping again into weeks of darkness and loss

She says healing is possible when we work with Divine Source
She says it is my birthright to clear all darkness from my field
She says I could be normal, depression free, and happy again
Should I try yet again to become free from depression?

There is so much of my self wrapped up with depression
I am a total pessimist in one part of me about my chances
But I so want to soar without this albatross about my neck

Who is saying I have to live this way
Things change, I change, I may find a way forward
I may give her stuff a try, even though I am still afraid to really hope

She calls it depression trauma energy and all symptoms
She says I can totally call for the healing myself
She says she can help me find a healing pathway

When this crippling darkness passes this time
I hope I will reach out and seek this healing way
I hope I can find my way to a place someday where I can
Give back to others because I have become whole again

________________

If you are dealing with depression or any other chronic condition, use these resources. They can help you heal yourself even if you have tried everything! Take this free simple tutorial as step 1 to get you started in naming what needs to heal. For step 2, use the Six-Step Spiritual Healing Protocol as a basic first level clearing with your specific imbalance. Begin step three as you move to deeper chronic root imbalances affecting your specific imbalance. Complete step four and you will have cleared many stuck types of energy at very deep levels regarding the specific imbalance. Then the balance you seek is possible! Give yourself 10 days and if you still have symptoms repeat steps 2,3, and 4. Sometimes repeated healing is needed when you are dealing with chronic issues.

For more information, get The Six-Step Spiritual Healing Protocol book on Amazon.

Jul 03 2019

Be Not Afraid

Be not afraid. Fear drains the very vitality out of your body and life. Fear can run away with your joy and your sense of peace. It is the opposite of love and can seep into every crevice you allow it to inhabit. Fear feeds discouragement and imbalance. So what are your top fears? Everyone has a set of fears that sit just below the surface, running you. The only way to deal with fear is to face it down. You have to name it and command it out of you field so it releases your mind, heart, body, soul, and energy field completely. Otherwise, it just sits in your energy field and disturbs you again and again. If you did nothing else ever with your energy field but clear for fear, you could arrive at a totally peaceful inner landscape. Fear is worthy of your time. It is worthy of your attention and your determination to cast it out of your energy field.

Fear is what makes you feel little, ineffective, of no importance, and without agency. Return to your major fear and look at it squarely in the face. When you name fear you take the first step towards commanding it our of your mind, body, and soul. You are the only one who can do this. You have free will so you can live with fear or you can set it down and move on. There may always be another fear rearing its ugly head just as you let one fear go. But you can always face that one as well. That is your choice and your right to cleanse all fear from your energy field.

Frequently, individuals tell me they do not want to even try to clear fear because of feeling they have no power to do so. Others feel that the fear is real, true, and has power over them. But truly, fear is something you have given your power to and you can take that power back as well.

Lots of folks stick their heads in the sand and ignore their inner sense of fear believing that not consciously recognizing the fear, keeps it from negatively affecting you. This is absolutely untrue. In fact, fear is the way your inner knowing is guiding you to pay attention. When fear is in your field, it is always negatively affecting you! Further, the longer you hold onto fear, the stronger it becomes. It often slops over into anger and rage. Anger and rage have their beginnings in fear. Pretty soon, you are filled with fear manifesting anger and rage, over and over again.

Fear is your inner warning system. It is powerful and relentless. It takes a myriad of forms and only you can face it and call it out. Start with the biggest fear you have and work with it in Sacred Space. Follow the Six-Step Spiritual Healing Protocol and clear it from your field. Then use both part 1 and part 2 of the of the Chronic Imbalances protocol to more deeply clear chronic fear from your field and you are home free. We are talking 15 minutes at the outside.

Further, if you do not fully clear all the fear you targeted, no worries. You will be shown again that more clearing is needed. Just repeat the process again, knowing that clearings of this sort have their own timing for total clearing. Repeating clearings does not mean you have messed up. It means you are getting guidance to complete that which you have started. Begin the process, keep showing up, and all the next steps will be given.

So what do you do then after that first fear energy is gone? Go to the next big fear you have and repeat this process again, and again. Do not hide from any fear you carry. Fear is corrosive and detrimental to your health on every single level you can imagine. Do not allow fear to simmer within! Name it, face it, and command it out within a Sacred Space. Wallowing in fear or denying its existence does you no good at all. Commanding it out of your energy field is one of the most transformational acts you can take towards inner peace. Begin with your biggest fear today!

Jun 19 2019

Activate Your Free Will

Having free will cuts both ways. You can settle for exactly where you find yourself or you can choose to have the life you want, regardless of your life circumstances. You have to exercise your free will though to do so. Seek the help you need through Spirit/God/The Oneness for greater peace, health, and prosperity. The building of your desired life begins with you. How and where to start?

Until you have an awareness of what is bothering you, out of balance, or draining you, you won’t be able to make the changes you desire. When you seek connection, you can begin to figure out what is out of balance. You may find yourself battling your ego in the beginning, not wanting to see what you are feeling, why you are feeling that, and what you can do about it. You have to really want to connect with Divine Source to actually have a fighting chance to do so. There is peace there. There is guidance there. There is a way forward there. All this can stay as shrouded or as separate from you as you choose. That is the essence of free will.

The level of support, love, and guidance available by consciously connecting with Divine Source is literally infinite. That connection just gets stronger and stronger as you sit in Silence and seek Peace. You are the one that is out of balance, feeling lousy, lost, frustrated, angry, demotivated, judgmental, or insufficient. Your feelings start with you regardless of how they arrive in your face. The issue sits with you even though another person may be the catalyst. You can choose to stay in a blaming mind set as long as you want to. Further, the issues are not with the job, your body, your friend, your house or your spouse. The issues are within you, always. You have to figure out what is getting triggered in you to rectify the imbalances you feel. Or you can choose to blame all your troubles on everyone and everything else. You will stay exactly where you are until you begin to look at yourself deeply and figure out what you are carrying that is no longer serving you.

A little known truth is that those in your life are always there to be a mirror for you. You come here to heal, grow, and feel more connected to Divine Source. Literally, every step of your life is designed for you to realize what you need to see to grow more peace, more balance, and more connection with All That Is. Few people know this, fewer people act on this knowing. To make progress, you must go inside, again and again to see what needs to be jettisoned from your energy field.

Mostly everyone around you is focused on the externals of life such as making money, having a family, having a prestigious job, having fun, or having their desired material wealth. You can spend your entire lifetime involved in these pursuits and still be off inside. Nothing really insures peace of mind and wellness like getting rid of feelings and situations that are not serving you. You can’t do that if you never pay attention to how you are feeling. You can’t understand how you are feeling if you do not look inside with a seeking mind to clear the draining energies you are carrying.

So, activate your free will and make the time you need to go inside, again and again. If you figure out what you are feeling, then you can clear for the trauma energy those feelings are causing. If you recognize repeating negative patterns, then you can command those out of your field and amazingly, they will leave. Why? Because you are both eternal and human. Your eternal self is trying to help you find your best self in your human life. Use your free will to begin, sustain, and return repeatedly to this journey to wholeness.

You may feel you do not know how to do this. Just begin. Show up to Silence. Seek the Peace you desire. Stewing about your feelings and your situations does absolutely nothing good for you. Entering into Sacred Space to listen, identify and clear stuck energy does everything you need to feel lighter and more grounded. Keep entering into Silence with a seeking mind. Seek the way forward you desire and you will receive the awareness you need about what you have to let go of to find your way. You might even consider taking this free healing yourself tutorial as a possible beginning step for you.

Jun 12 2019

Patiently Waiting for Me

I want to open all of me to all of Thee
Take every part of me that is shrunk and disconnected
Take all my fears and my repeating worries
Reshape the parts of me that are hesitant and self-protecting

I know I need to feel expansive to touch to the Wholeness
Many days though my littleness is playing out
Other days my self doubt and the nasties are showing up
Then I swerve severely from thinking big and boldly

I am forming daily mantras for the shriveled up days I have
I am one with All That Is, I am known and loved
I am always connected with Divine Source
Spirit and I are one, are one, are one, are one

In Truth, I am always connected to Divine Love
I have to keep reminding my flighty mind of this
I must feel the desire to connect a dozen times a day
So reaffirming in little ways seems to see me through

My life, my work, my relationships, and my health
Are better when I feel connected to God and Oneness
I seem to be able to sail through all my responsibilities
And come out with more energy than I began with

There are even whole days my mind does not judge me
There are times when every part of my day moves with Grace and Ease
These are the glory days, the way I wish every day could unfold
These are the days that support me through the rough periods

Nothing human is ever a perfect constant
Change is always occurring with all things
I remember, I am the one with the dissonance
Divine Source is always patiently waiting for me

Another day, another try at connecting
This day will be the one with flow and delight
This day will be my best effort of all to connect
This day I will be the Peace and Joy I seek

And so it is!