poetry

Jun 12 2019

Patiently Waiting for Me

I want to open all of me to all of Thee
Take every part of me that is shrunk and disconnected
Take all my fears and my repeating worries
Reshape the parts of me that are hesitant and self-protecting

I know I need to feel expansive to touch to the Wholeness
Many days though my littleness is playing out
Other days my self doubt and the nasties are showing up
Then I swerve severely from thinking big and boldly

I am forming daily mantras for the shriveled up days I have
I am one with All That Is, I am known and loved
I am always connected with Divine Source
Spirit and I are one, are one, are one, are one

In Truth, I am always connected to Divine Love
I have to keep reminding my flighty mind of this
I must feel the desire to connect a dozen times a day
So reaffirming in little ways seems to see me through

My life, my work, my relationships, and my health
Are better when I feel connected to God and Oneness
I seem to be able to sail through all my responsibilities
And come out with more energy than I began with

There are even whole days my mind does not judge me
There are times when every part of my day moves with Grace and Ease
These are the glory days, the way I wish every day could unfold
These are the days that support me through the rough periods

Nothing human is ever a perfect constant
Change is always occurring with all things
I remember, I am the one with the dissonance
Divine Source is always patiently waiting for me

Another day, another try at connecting
This day will be the one with flow and delight
This day will be my best effort of all to connect
This day I will be the Peace and Joy I seek

And so it is!

May 16 2019

Just Aging or Inner Struggle

I hurt, feel listless, and nothing helps
I take my medications and I get exercise
And still I hurt some of every day
I am discouraged, I must be getting older

My systems are sluggish and draggy
I feel strong, stuck, lurking emotions
They bubble up and I keep pushing them away
They feel buried, deeply hidden, but still agitating

My gut is a mess due to too much sugar
Too much rich food and drink
Too many simple carbs and sweets
Sugar treats everyday and twice on holidays

Food and drink help me celebrate and forget
Because inside I feel alone, disconnected, and empty
My feelings of being lost and unfocused loom,
Improve a bit, return, and eventually overwhelm

My body screams at me about being out of balance
Out of touch with All That Is and myself
I continue ignoring the small indications of trouble
While time passes and all issues grow larger

I just keep on keeping on, in ole’ familiar ways
Then pain strikes, days feel lackluster
Migraines take an upturn, wakeful nights begin repeating
Every part of my mind, body, and soul now on the edge

I have to stop and listen because medicines only work
For a short time when congestion remains inside
I know I should seek out the blocked and stuck places
And find a path forward that really works

However, I really prefer to not focus on this inner stuff
Even as my body continues to yell, scream, and cajole
Demanding the needed changes, aching daily
For balance, peace, health, and clearing

I’ve been told I get all the help I need by asking in devotion
By staying the course, by clearing, and trying to love
By commanding out fear, anger, shame, and apathy
By returning and returning to Silence for more guidance

It still seems easier to let all this fall on my deaf ears
To continue to feel invincible, pretend I’m good enough
Blowing off steam when I am angry and irritated
Totally denying I have settled for pain and suffering

I know how to play at being just fine
Know how to put on my no care in the world face
Only I truly know that act is a pack of lies
And, yes, my body continues to tell me the truth

I really, really do not want to do this work
It is so hard to look inside at what is not working
Or maybe that is just my mind playing tricks on me
Keeping me from giving my all to be my best self

Apr 04 2019

Humans in Spiritual Training

A voice emerged amidst the dreams:

You are a human being in training
You are a chip off the ‘ole block
You are eternal having a human experience
You are human created from Divine Source

You have total free will
You are blessed with infinite possibilities
You are loved beyond all understanding
You get eternal replays with every life

You get all the chances you need
To make good, loving, and balanced decisions
Even when you mess up repeatedly
Unconditional love is always yours

You remain unaware of your true value
You fear, you judge, you push, you doubt
Creating profound unworthiness
That does not belong to you

You belittle, chastise, think poorly of yourself
For all kinds of unhealed reasons that
Put you out of sorts, again and again
And keep you from feeling joyful

You have a creative and powerful mind
You have consciousness and free reign
Yet the unhealed detritus of your life looms
Ever waiting for you to name, face, and heal

Love is what you must cultivate
Continuous love of self and all others
Love of every challenge that helps you grow
Love of all mistakes you make along the way

You come into life to learn more about
The love and wholeness that is truly you
You come to retrain your mind for compassion
You have endless repeating lives to make amends

You are continuously invited to get with your inner self
You feel there is not enough time to look within
You succumb to the seduction of your life
You are lured into distractions, away from needed inner work

One day there will be something you can not ignore
You will be off and running on the road to Oneness
Passionately seeking as never before
Full heartedly focused on your journey to wholeness

The choice is yours, ad infinitum
You can return as many times as you want
To a life where your unhealed energies still await
One day, you will pick one up and take it to completion

And then deep sleep was restored.

Mar 13 2019

Choice for Love

The capacity to love starts within
With forgiveness of everyone and everything
With the forgiveness of self
With gentleness and kindness to self

With compassion for all your perceived faults
For all the lost opportunities
For all the messed up efforts
For all the wished for differences in the past

Love* begins with seeking the Oneness
Without any understanding of It at all
It is the seeking that grows the Love
Then comes the realization, you are just perfect

You are exactly where you need to be
There is no possible way to get off the path
On your way to loving self and others
Every mess up is learning for the heart and head

Pain and all negativity is not punishment
It is a deep call to seek the Wholeness within
It is a profound call to your I AM self
The part that is always One with All That Is

The capacity to love is infinite
In all ways through all trials
It is ever present beckoning your true self
To make the choice for Love

In every situation
In all relationships
In every thought and act
In every effort of your entire life

And so it is!

* Love is capitalized when it is a noun because I am speaking of Divine Love, that beyond the physical self.

To begin to forgive and set down unhelpful thoughts and patterns restricting love (or any other imbalance), sign-up for the short voice guided Healing Yourself tutorial or use the Six-Step Spiritual Healing Protocol for ways to clear old blocked energies affecting you ability to fully love.

Feb 26 2019

The Struggle

I am so totally unsettled again today
I can’t seem to find my way to balance
It was fleetingly here yesterday
It escapes me over the smallest of issues

The things that show up along the way
Push my buttons and create those inner rumbles
I am angry and loud, thrashing and impatient
I despair of ever walking with ease and grace again

How did I get here?
What missteps did I take?
Where do I go to find a break?
Is anyone out there who can help?

I wonder if I would even realize
If the road most needed appeared
In this morass of stress and pushing
I would probably just drive on by

No one really knows how bad it is
I keep this all under wraps
Except when I blow for no reason
Then I at least know, the jig is up

But interestingly, it all blows over
No one demands my resignation
No one confronts me on my arrogance
Am I the only one who registers the turmoil ?

My pattern of coping is crippled at best
I go to drinks, I go to smokes,
I go to food, I go to extravagance
They all leave me utterly empty

I really need to sit and be with all of this
I am always running away from looking within
I am profoundly afraid of what I will find
I may find I am unworthy of peace

What awaits me then?
I am touching bottom here
I am in fear of who I have become
I fear I have forever lost my way

I command in the help I need
I know it not within my daily world
I command in the love I have heard about
I need that love and I need it now