* See Editor’s Note Below
All people make the only choice they can make, at the time their choice is made. If a person could make a different choice, a better more loving choice, (s)he would make that choice. We make choices from within ourselves based on what is whole and what is not whole. It does no good to judge another, no good at all.
What about situations in the public, where we come upon practices which we know are unjust but are generally accepted, all the same, by our government? The same principle applies. Government officials have greater or lesser degrees of conscious knowing, as do all people. Separate the behavior from the person or set of persons. Make the comments about the injustices, not about those supporting or endorsing those injustices. It is a tricky line. It is however a most critical line to understand, if we are to remain in integrity when faced with injustice or the unloving choices of others. This is one way to do no harm and stay in integrity.
Do not resist evil. When we resist that which is dark, unbalanced, evil or horrific, it grows. It grows because we are giving our power to it by our resistance. When we put our power on the Greater Balance, the Greater Good connected with the situation, that is what grows. The photo of the young woman in green, in our last post read, “My eyes are set on freedom”. She was focused on the Greater Good. Here is another way to focus on a positive action regarding war, “Awaken”.
Speak the Truth as you know it and let it go. Your speaking the Truth from your own integrity is very powerful and should not be underestimated. If you have a spouse, friend or colleague whose behaviors you find troubling, speaking one’s Truth can be transforming especially if done in a non-judgmental way. There is inherent power in the Truth. It stands alone because it comes from our Higher Selves. After speaking one’s truth, let it go. Time is needed to take it in, after Truth shows up.
Greg (name changed) had been noticing his wife’s steady increased spending on clothing for herself, for months. When we talked, she was regularly spending a minimum of $500 a month on clothing.
Greg was reticent to say anything to her because he did not want to criticize his wife and make the situation worse. However, he was worried about what was behind these behaviors which they were not speaking about.
He first asked for Divine Help in clearing his fear, anger and judgment around his wife’s spending pattern. He worked on his fear about what her behavior might mean for her, for their marriage, for their family and he worked to let all that fear go. When he finally did say something, he asked for Divine Presence to be with him and speak through him in a loving manner.
Greg first told his wife that he loved her. Secondly, he told her what the actual pattern of spending looked like over time, with facts and figures. He said that he felt this pattern was something other than the need for new clothes and that he was concerned about why she was making these choices for herself. This opened up several weeks of dialogue which eventually led to their mutually uncovering issues she was masking over, by buying clothes and overspending.
Greg spent some early months “not resisting evil” regarding his wife’s spending. He chose not to rant, criticize, condemn or judge. He began by seeking help and then cleared his own judgment about his wife’s actions, his fears about what this might mean. Greg figured out what his own Truth was, without confusing his Truth with his own fears. He also separated his wife’s behaviors from his wife, herself. People are not their behaviors, no matter what those behaviors are. If we can separate others behaviors from the individuals themselves, we have some hope of having Love help solve the issue rather than devolving into attack, blame and shame.
- Do no harm
- Do not resist evil
- Speak your Truth
- Face darkness with the power of Divine Knowing
Above all, remember to lovingly separate a person’s behavior from the person him/herself.
* Editor’s note: If you have not seen the previous piece on Judge Not, you might like to read it as well or before this one. Click here to link to it, Judge-not.