Calling Out Impatience, part 2

If you are reading this blog for the first time or after a while away, read the previous post before reading this one, as they go together.  Go to http://www.robbinshopkins.com/2009/09/patience-is-love-of-self-part-1/.

It is possible to focus on impatience within ourselves and rout it out! This concept though came to me slowly over a long period of time.  I awoke gradually to the implications of naming what was causing me distress, imbalance and friction in my life.  Here are some concrete examples of how to name impatience and command it out of our field.

A Half and a Third of the Sky by Shamanic Shift
A Half and a Third of the Sky by Shamanic Shift

Before doing this work or any other of a spiritual nature, open a sacred healing space. I do this by inviting my Highest I AM Self , the Angelic Host, the Nature Intelligences, the Ascended Master of all traditions, the Comic Light Being of the Highest Light, Divine Physicians who can work with me today.  Do what works for you.

When impatience is manifesting in our lives in the present time, we usually know it is present.  We sometimes carefully and cleverly ignore it, make excuses for it or downright deny we are being impatient.  This is a process when you are ready to honestly face the energy of impatience within.

1. The first step is to NAME the settings, interactions, situations  where we are feeling impatient with ourselves or others. It looked like this for me.  Getting up every morning, stomping around the house looking for my hair brush and cursing about never being able to find anything, repeatedly, day after day when I had to go to work!!

Also, even though you can quickly and decisively name impatience in others, that does you absolutely no good.  You can only change that pattern in yourself.   Your own healing of this imbalance will affect those around you.

What does impatience look like in your life?  How does it specifically manifest? Pick one instance where you have been impatient with self or others, to further explore.

2. A second step in this process is to  name all the ways impatience in the situation you have named is  benefiting  you.  For me, it benefited me because it allowed me to get out my impatience with myself in a safe private environment before I was publicly at work.   The ranting also kept me in touch with my power, as distorted as that was, because I felt trapped by the daily routine of going to that job.  Giving power to my impatience provided me a forum to rail without any perceived consequences to myself.   I could let loose and not hurt anyone but myself.

How does the impatience in the situation you have identified,  benefit you?  What pay offs are your getting from you impatience in this situation?

3. The third step is to consider the costs of this continued set of behaviors to yourself and to others. In my case, it was very unpleasant for my husband to witness this self-condemnation on my part every morning I had to work.  Though I seemed to be getting in touch with what I thought of as power, really, I was venting my impatience with myself  all over the house.  This made it very difficult to get to work with grace and ease, actually, next to impossible.  I don’t think grace and ease were even in my vocabulary at the time.

What are the costs to yourself and to others of continuing with this form of impatience with yourself or others?

4. The fourth area to explore is what specific fears are fueling the impatience with self or with others. In my case, my fears were of losing the “me” I liked, by being in a job I was not happy with.  Another fear was that I was losing my sense of my 0wn power by needing to “fit in” to the organization where I was working.  Another fear was of never getting to where I could really make a difference through what I was doing.

What specific fears are fueling the impatience with self or with others?

When the fears are specifically named, you are ready to decide if you would like these to leave your energy field for good. If so, continue with the next section for how to do that.  If not, perhaps you can return to this when you feel ready to release the fears manifesting in your life as impatience with self or others.

Clearing the energy behind impatience.

There are a few basic concepts which will support this clearing of blocked energy manifesting as impatience. The first is that impatience is not an eternal energy.  It is not of the family of love and therefore is fleeting, passing and is not a permanent fixture of our own true selves.  We may have this trait for months, years or lifetimes but none the less, it is a passing trait which we can release if we are so inclined. Secondly, we have the deep knowing of All That Is within us.  We are one with God/The Great Oneness/All That Is.  We may not feel we are connected to this knowing, but we are.  We need to claim this connection and releasing that which is not of love, in any form, strengthens that connection on our side.  From the “other side” that connection is constant, everlasting and steadfast. Thirdly, if we command blocked energy out of our field, it will go. Until you have experience doing this, you have to simply do it and see.  Then the experience of cleared energy will be known to you in this time and space and the process will become easier over time.

The clearing process begins with intent.  One day I decided that I no longer wanted impatience in my energy field.  Thus began a series of letting go and clearing of impatience energy from all areas of my life.   I imagine there is still more to do but the backlog has been addressed!   We get as many chances as we need.  We can do the work now or do the work later.  This is a loving step towards claiming the power and peace of our own true selves.  Every one of us is capable of being patient with ourselves and others.  We simply need to call out the blocked energy manifesting as impatience and call forth love to replace it.

Human being asking Universe by ULUC
Human being asking Universe by ULUC

Steps to Clear Impatience from you Field

1.  Reopen your sacred healing space or restate your intent to work within that space if you have already opened it that day.  ( see above)

2.  Call forth the sacred flame from within you.

This flame is the form of God, All That Is, the Great Oneness which is within each of us.  It knows nothing beyond the Presence of God.  It is the energy of our own I AM Energy and of the Great I AM Energy in the same moment.  Further, the Sacred or Eternal Flame is constant, all powerful, all knowing and everywhere present.  We are in good hands with this image of Divine Oneness!  Say, “I call forth the Eternal Flame from within me.”

3.  Call out all the blocked fear energy you have identified in your field which is manifesting as impatience.  Say something like, ” Sacred Flame consume the blocked fear of ______ which is manifesting as impatience with myself and others. ”  You can call out all the specific fears you have identified from Step 4  above, at the same time.

4.  Call out the core of the blocked energy from the specific year, month and day of its inception into you field.  Say something like, ” I call forth this blocked fear of ____________  from all time and space from the specific year, month and day of its inception into my energy field which is now manifesting as impatience with myself and with others.  Consume the original blocked energy source of this impatience from my energy field totally and completely.”

All that can go in the given day, will leave your energy field.  However, you may have to repeat this process many times until the manifestation of all impatience leaves your field.  Each time you do this, more and more blocked energy will leave your field forever!

5. Call in the Presence of Divine Love in the place where the fear has been. Say something like, I call forth the Presence of Divine Love into my thinking, feeling, acting self  where this blocked fear energy has resided manifesting as impatience with myself and others.

6.  Give thanks for the loving support of the sacred healing space.  Say something like, Thank you so much for this opportunity, for the clearing and for the reconnection with Divine Love.

Blessing to all who come this way!  If you try this process, share your results with us here that we may witness each other’s efforts and share in the energy of seeking greater Peace individually and collectively.  If you do not see the “reply box”  here, click on the Title and you will be taken to the Internet space to leave a comment.


Patience is love of self, part 1

Patience is a form of love.  It is the letting go of the need to control all that is happening around us.  It is the cultivation of trust that all is well even if at the moment, our plans and expectations are not being met as we envisioned that happening.  Patience begins with ourselves.  We can’t really offer patience to another freely if we can’t offer it to ourselves. We can offer it but perhaps with strings attached or at a  price if we have not really embraced patience within ourselves at a deep level.

Drepung Gomang Monastery in Nashua, NH by stargazr
Drepung Gomang Monastery in Nashua, NH by stargazr

Often when I work with those who self-report they are impatient in their lives, including myself,  the core blocked energy has begun as  impatience due to  a critical view of ones accomplishments, mastery, self-perceived expertise or skills.  There is a deeply held myth that if we are critical of ourselves, we will work harder than if we are complimentary of ourselves.  Neither statement is true, in the sense of eternal and lasting  because both views are evaluative and therefore not accepting of what is in the present moment.

Here are two contrasting thoughts on the same  day by a person before he opened to Peace and just after he asked for Divine Presence in his day.

Damn it, why can’t I ever get my things together and get out of the house on Saturday in an orderly timely manner.  One thing after another and I have shot the whole bloody day.

I just can’t seem to focus for some reason today to get the things done I wanted to.  I wonder what else I need to be doing on a day like today?

The first is self-judgmental in tone with anger and impatience with self.  The second is loving and accepting of what is, with a sense of wonder about what else might be going on.

untitled by ~FreeBirD®~   To describe a feeling of smooth is so hard when you know its about the calm times.  There are no unwanted winds and sudden rush of time to worry about... You just look into those waters and feel.... Wish I was that calm and the world around was so peaceful.   We all want to be nice but things with time makes you know and learn how the world is..... One for its own... !!
untitled by ~FreeBirD®~ To describe a feeling of smooth is so hard when you know its about the calm times. There are no unwanted winds and sudden rush of time to worry about... You just look into those waters and feel.... Wish I was that calm and the world around was so peaceful. We all want to be nice but things with time makes you know and learn how the world is..... One for its own... !!

Impatience is often wrapped up with time stress.  If I could just get this last thing done and off my list, I could have a bit more freedom tomorrow.  If I could just  fit this last errand in, I would feel I had accomplished something. If I could just make time work for me, the way I envision it, I can perhaps get everything done I need to and then I’d be able to  relax.  As long as we tie our amount of relaxation to accomplishment, we are living in the greater context of impatience.  If were were patient and in Right Relationship with time, we could simply look at the clock and say, “Right, time for exercise, this can wait for tomorrow.”  Often these decisions are within our own control but we give our power to time stress and impatience.

Impatience is the gap between our expectations and what is.

What if we had no expectations of how or when something might be done? What if we made a sacred commitment to something and let Divine Presence lead us as to when and how that might be accomplished with grace and ease?

When I was 38, I was seriously working my desire to be a spiritual healer.  I was enthusiastically consuming two or three books a week.  I was devouring all the workshops I could fit in and spending huge amounts of time in Silence.  I was also regularly talking fervently to God about becoming a spiritual healer.  From this vantage point,  I see I was simultaneously afraid I was not going to make it to my goal and also afraid I would get there and not know what I was doing.   This was all mixed in with some quandaries about my sanity given that I knew no one going about this like I was.  These feeling though I closely held to myself.

In fairness, there were no proven paths to becoming a spiritual healer when I was entertaining this.  I did not know where the inner call came from but I did know that I was passionate about it beyond anything I could control. There was however a deep level of impatience with the slow methodical process of gaining skills and confidence in spiritual healing.

The zeal I had for “getting this stuff” was crackling with energy and drive.  I loved the high of learing about spiritual healing.  So, when I finished my studies, wrote my last paper, was ordained as a minister of spiritual healing, I thought, ” AT LAST,  I am ready to go.”  Looking back my struggle with impatience though had just begun.

As I worked, I realized how green I was.  I knew I was afraid of getting in over my head.  I dreaded someone coming in and wanting to work on something I knew nothing about.  I kept wondering how is this all going to work its way out?  How am I ever going to come in to a place of Peace about this work I felt so energized around?

Waiting Monk by h.koppdelaney
Waiting Monk by h.koppdelaney

Silence, silence and more silence.  That was the answer for me.  I was to sit and sit and sit some more while Divine Presence worked on me.  I was to face my judgment head on, rout out my issues, one my one, and continuously name the doubts and fears I was giving my power to.  Slowly, slowly, as I would work through a set of issues say around pride, I’d get three clients working on the same issues, no kidding.  Everything came in threes.  If I had looked at the issues manifesting as sore knees, three clients would come in with the same issues to look at for themselves.  This went on for years and years.

Patience, patience, patience kept coming up.  I had to systematically and continuously let go of my expectations and embrace what was.  When I didn’t, I would routinely hit a brick wall and feel bruised on every conceiveable level.   Whenever I would race ahead and wonder, why am I not able to hear what is needed for another?   Why am I not feeling connected to this client in the way I want to be?   I would crash and burn usually trashing myself  in the process.   I had no colleagues who could say, good job.  I was the ONLY person who could say that to myself because of the isolated and confidential nature of my work.

I had to methodically learn to love myself and in the process give up my impatience with not being perfect!!  No one told me this journey was about these things.  It just is though.

New week, Part 2 ,  Calling out impatience within ourselves.

Judge Not – continued

* See Editor’s Note Below

All people make the only choice they can make, at the time their choice is made.  If a person could make a different choice, a better more loving choice, (s)he would make that choice.  We make choices from within ourselves based on what is whole and what is not whole.  It does no good to judge another, no good at all.

What about situations in the public, where we come upon practices which we know are unjust but are generally accepted, all the same, by our government?  The same principle applies.  Government officials have greater or lesser degrees of conscious knowing, as do all people.  Separate the behavior from the person or set of persons.  Make the comments about the injustices, not about those supporting or endorsing those injustices. It is a tricky line.  It is however a most critical line to understand, if we are to remain in integrity when faced with injustice or the unloving choices of others.  This is one way to do no harm and stay in integrity.

Do not resist evil.  When we resist that which is dark, unbalanced, evil or horrific, it grows. It grows because we are giving our power to it by our resistance.  When we put our power on the Greater Balance, the Greater Good connected with the situation, that is what grows.  The photo of  the young woman in green, in our last post read,  “My eyes are set on freedom”.  She was focused on the Greater Good.  Here is another way to focus on a positive action regarding war, “Awaken”.

Iraq War Fifth Anniversary by pictoscribe

Iraq War Fifth Anniversary by pictoscribe

Speak the Truth as you know it and let it go. Your speaking the Truth from your own integrity is very powerful and should not be underestimated.  If you have a spouse, friend or colleague whose behaviors you find troubling, speaking one’s Truth can be transforming especially if done in a non-judgmental way.  There is inherent power in the Truth.  It stands alone because it comes from our Higher Selves.  After speaking one’s truth, let it go.  Time is needed to take it in, after Truth shows up.

Greg (name changed) had been noticing his wife’s steady increased spending on clothing for herself, for months.  When we talked, she was regularly spending a minimum of $500 a month on clothing.

Shopping by Franganillo
Shopping by Franganillo

Greg was reticent to say anything to her because he did not want to criticize his wife and make the situation worse.  However, he was worried about what was behind these behaviors which they were not speaking about.

He first asked for Divine Help in clearing his  fear, anger and judgment around his wife’s spending pattern.  He worked on his fear about what her behavior might mean for her,  for their marriage, for their family and he worked to let all that fear go.  When he finally did say something, he asked for Divine Presence to be with him and speak through him in a loving manner.

Greg first told his wife that he loved her.  Secondly, he told her what the actual pattern of spending looked like over time, with facts and figures.  He said that he felt this pattern was something other than the need for new clothes and that he was concerned about why she was making these choices for herself.  This opened up several weeks of dialogue which eventually led to their mutually uncovering issues she was masking over, by buying clothes and overspending.

Greg spent some early months “not resisting evil” regarding his wife’s spending.  He chose not to rant, criticize, condemn or judge.   He began by seeking help and then cleared his own judgment about his wife’s actions, his fears about what this might mean.  Greg figured out what his own Truth was, without confusing his Truth with his own fears.  He also separated his wife’s behaviors from his wife, herself.   People are not their behaviors, no matter what those behaviors are.  If we can separate others behaviors from the individuals themselves, we have some hope of having Love help solve the issue rather than devolving into attack, blame and shame.

  • Do no harm
  • Do not resist evil
  • Speak your Truth
  • Face darkness with the power of Divine Knowing

Above all, remember to lovingly separate a person’s behavior from the person him/herself.

*  Editor’s note: If you have not seen the previous piece on Judge Not, you might like to read it as well or before this one.  Click here to link to it,  Judge-not.


Judge Not

Who is to judge what is right and wrong?  When is speaking out called for?  When is accepting the point of view of another, called for?  Most of us are not heads of government but each of us is influential somewhere, at work, at home, in communities, in our spiritual groups, etc.  When we do feel called to speak out, how might we do this in our highest integrity?

My Eyes Are Set On Freedom #Iranelection by harrystaub
My Eyes Are Set On Freedom #Iranelection by harrystaab

In the end, these questions can only be answered individually.  We may connect with others answering as we are, but ultimately, we are called to keep our own counsel and keep it with Divine Presence, the best way we can.

  • First and foremost,  do no harm.
  • Secondly, do not resist evil.
  • Thirdly, speak the Truth as you know it.
  • Fourthly, face all human darkness with the power of the Divine Knowing.

These are principles which are in alignment with All That Is for all peoples.  However our interpretation of what this looks like can be wildly different from one to another.

The most challenging stance when deciding to speak out or not is, can one speak out in a non-judgmental way? Judge not, lest you also be judged is one of the fundamental spiritual principles in alignment with do no harm.   Why is this so important?

We are each and every one on our own spiritual path.  Some of us are highly conscious, some of us are barely conscious and some of us are not conscious, at all.  Being conscious  in this situation refers to being connected with Divine Presence and aware of that connection.  We can not know another’s  level of consciousness.  Therefore, we are in no position to judge even about those who are the closest to us.

The “right” behavior or choice for one may not be “right” for another due to his or her conscious knowing. Take for example a person who steals or smuggles.  Immediately we might say, that is always wrong, regardless of the circumstances.

Children of the Hills I by Papyrarri
Children of the Hills I by Papyrarri

If we are in a situation where all ways of making money have been closed to us as we see it, and the only way to survive day to day seems to be to steal or smuggle, we may be in integrity because we are trying to provide for ourselves and our family.  This might well apply to the children, for example, forced to smuggle along the Afghanistan and Pakistan border.  The judging of this is only for Divine Knowing to determine.  We are not that Knowing, generally.

What we can do is speak out about the injustices we see without condemning the people doing these things we have issues with. The same thing goes for our children and family members.  We may have a very rebellious child who is pushing all our buttons by trying to express him or herself in ways we find offensive and dangerous.  There is a huge difference in speaking out about one’s behaviors or choices and becoming angry and critical of the person who is making these decisions regardless of their age.  Separate the behaviors from the person and love can still remain while we are speaking out about the choices we find troublesome.  Confuse the person with the actions in a condemning way and we have crossed a line which is extremely damaging to most people. ( to be continued)