Calling Out Impatience, part 2

If you are reading this blog for the first time or after a while away, read the previous post before reading this one, as they go together.  Go to http://www.robbinshopkins.com/2009/09/patience-is-love-of-self-part-1/.

It is possible to focus on impatience within ourselves and rout it out! This concept though came to me slowly over a long period of time.  I awoke gradually to the implications of naming what was causing me distress, imbalance and friction in my life.  Here are some concrete examples of how to name impatience and command it out of our field.

A Half and a Third of the Sky by Shamanic Shift
A Half and a Third of the Sky by Shamanic Shift

Before doing this work or any other of a spiritual nature, open a sacred healing space. I do this by inviting my Highest I AM Self , the Angelic Host, the Nature Intelligences, the Ascended Master of all traditions, the Comic Light Being of the Highest Light, Divine Physicians who can work with me today.  Do what works for you.

When impatience is manifesting in our lives in the present time, we usually know it is present.  We sometimes carefully and cleverly ignore it, make excuses for it or downright deny we are being impatient.  This is a process when you are ready to honestly face the energy of impatience within.

1. The first step is to NAME the settings, interactions, situations  where we are feeling impatient with ourselves or others. It looked like this for me.  Getting up every morning, stomping around the house looking for my hair brush and cursing about never being able to find anything, repeatedly, day after day when I had to go to work!!

Also, even though you can quickly and decisively name impatience in others, that does you absolutely no good.  You can only change that pattern in yourself.   Your own healing of this imbalance will affect those around you.

What does impatience look like in your life?  How does it specifically manifest? Pick one instance where you have been impatient with self or others, to further explore.

2. A second step in this process is to  name all the ways impatience in the situation you have named is  benefiting  you.  For me, it benefited me because it allowed me to get out my impatience with myself in a safe private environment before I was publicly at work.   The ranting also kept me in touch with my power, as distorted as that was, because I felt trapped by the daily routine of going to that job.  Giving power to my impatience provided me a forum to rail without any perceived consequences to myself.   I could let loose and not hurt anyone but myself.

How does the impatience in the situation you have identified,  benefit you?  What pay offs are your getting from you impatience in this situation?

3. The third step is to consider the costs of this continued set of behaviors to yourself and to others. In my case, it was very unpleasant for my husband to witness this self-condemnation on my part every morning I had to work.  Though I seemed to be getting in touch with what I thought of as power, really, I was venting my impatience with myself  all over the house.  This made it very difficult to get to work with grace and ease, actually, next to impossible.  I don’t think grace and ease were even in my vocabulary at the time.

What are the costs to yourself and to others of continuing with this form of impatience with yourself or others?

4. The fourth area to explore is what specific fears are fueling the impatience with self or with others. In my case, my fears were of losing the “me” I liked, by being in a job I was not happy with.  Another fear was that I was losing my sense of my 0wn power by needing to “fit in” to the organization where I was working.  Another fear was of never getting to where I could really make a difference through what I was doing.

What specific fears are fueling the impatience with self or with others?

When the fears are specifically named, you are ready to decide if you would like these to leave your energy field for good. If so, continue with the next section for how to do that.  If not, perhaps you can return to this when you feel ready to release the fears manifesting in your life as impatience with self or others.

Clearing the energy behind impatience.

There are a few basic concepts which will support this clearing of blocked energy manifesting as impatience. The first is that impatience is not an eternal energy.  It is not of the family of love and therefore is fleeting, passing and is not a permanent fixture of our own true selves.  We may have this trait for months, years or lifetimes but none the less, it is a passing trait which we can release if we are so inclined. Secondly, we have the deep knowing of All That Is within us.  We are one with God/The Great Oneness/All That Is.  We may not feel we are connected to this knowing, but we are.  We need to claim this connection and releasing that which is not of love, in any form, strengthens that connection on our side.  From the “other side” that connection is constant, everlasting and steadfast. Thirdly, if we command blocked energy out of our field, it will go. Until you have experience doing this, you have to simply do it and see.  Then the experience of cleared energy will be known to you in this time and space and the process will become easier over time.

The clearing process begins with intent.  One day I decided that I no longer wanted impatience in my energy field.  Thus began a series of letting go and clearing of impatience energy from all areas of my life.   I imagine there is still more to do but the backlog has been addressed!   We get as many chances as we need.  We can do the work now or do the work later.  This is a loving step towards claiming the power and peace of our own true selves.  Every one of us is capable of being patient with ourselves and others.  We simply need to call out the blocked energy manifesting as impatience and call forth love to replace it.

Human being asking Universe by ULUC
Human being asking Universe by ULUC

Steps to Clear Impatience from you Field

1.  Reopen your sacred healing space or restate your intent to work within that space if you have already opened it that day.  ( see above)

2.  Call forth the sacred flame from within you.

This flame is the form of God, All That Is, the Great Oneness which is within each of us.  It knows nothing beyond the Presence of God.  It is the energy of our own I AM Energy and of the Great I AM Energy in the same moment.  Further, the Sacred or Eternal Flame is constant, all powerful, all knowing and everywhere present.  We are in good hands with this image of Divine Oneness!  Say, “I call forth the Eternal Flame from within me.”

3.  Call out all the blocked fear energy you have identified in your field which is manifesting as impatience.  Say something like, ” Sacred Flame consume the blocked fear of ______ which is manifesting as impatience with myself and others. ”  You can call out all the specific fears you have identified from Step 4  above, at the same time.

4.  Call out the core of the blocked energy from the specific year, month and day of its inception into you field.  Say something like, ” I call forth this blocked fear of ____________  from all time and space from the specific year, month and day of its inception into my energy field which is now manifesting as impatience with myself and with others.  Consume the original blocked energy source of this impatience from my energy field totally and completely.”

All that can go in the given day, will leave your energy field.  However, you may have to repeat this process many times until the manifestation of all impatience leaves your field.  Each time you do this, more and more blocked energy will leave your field forever!

5. Call in the Presence of Divine Love in the place where the fear has been. Say something like, I call forth the Presence of Divine Love into my thinking, feeling, acting self  where this blocked fear energy has resided manifesting as impatience with myself and others.

6.  Give thanks for the loving support of the sacred healing space.  Say something like, Thank you so much for this opportunity, for the clearing and for the reconnection with Divine Love.

Blessing to all who come this way!  If you try this process, share your results with us here that we may witness each other’s efforts and share in the energy of seeking greater Peace individually and collectively.  If you do not see the “reply box”  here, click on the Title and you will be taken to the Internet space to leave a comment.


Patience is love of self, part 1

Patience is a form of love.  It is the letting go of the need to control all that is happening around us.  It is the cultivation of trust that all is well even if at the moment, our plans and expectations are not being met as we envisioned that happening.  Patience begins with ourselves.  We can’t really offer patience to another freely if we can’t offer it to ourselves. We can offer it but perhaps with strings attached or at a  price if we have not really embraced patience within ourselves at a deep level.

Drepung Gomang Monastery in Nashua, NH by stargazr
Drepung Gomang Monastery in Nashua, NH by stargazr

Often when I work with those who self-report they are impatient in their lives, including myself,  the core blocked energy has begun as  impatience due to  a critical view of ones accomplishments, mastery, self-perceived expertise or skills.  There is a deeply held myth that if we are critical of ourselves, we will work harder than if we are complimentary of ourselves.  Neither statement is true, in the sense of eternal and lasting  because both views are evaluative and therefore not accepting of what is in the present moment.

Here are two contrasting thoughts on the same  day by a person before he opened to Peace and just after he asked for Divine Presence in his day.

Damn it, why can’t I ever get my things together and get out of the house on Saturday in an orderly timely manner.  One thing after another and I have shot the whole bloody day.

I just can’t seem to focus for some reason today to get the things done I wanted to.  I wonder what else I need to be doing on a day like today?

The first is self-judgmental in tone with anger and impatience with self.  The second is loving and accepting of what is, with a sense of wonder about what else might be going on.

untitled by ~FreeBirD®~   To describe a feeling of smooth is so hard when you know its about the calm times.  There are no unwanted winds and sudden rush of time to worry about... You just look into those waters and feel.... Wish I was that calm and the world around was so peaceful.   We all want to be nice but things with time makes you know and learn how the world is..... One for its own... !!
untitled by ~FreeBirD®~ To describe a feeling of smooth is so hard when you know its about the calm times. There are no unwanted winds and sudden rush of time to worry about... You just look into those waters and feel.... Wish I was that calm and the world around was so peaceful. We all want to be nice but things with time makes you know and learn how the world is..... One for its own... !!

Impatience is often wrapped up with time stress.  If I could just get this last thing done and off my list, I could have a bit more freedom tomorrow.  If I could just  fit this last errand in, I would feel I had accomplished something. If I could just make time work for me, the way I envision it, I can perhaps get everything done I need to and then I’d be able to  relax.  As long as we tie our amount of relaxation to accomplishment, we are living in the greater context of impatience.  If were were patient and in Right Relationship with time, we could simply look at the clock and say, “Right, time for exercise, this can wait for tomorrow.”  Often these decisions are within our own control but we give our power to time stress and impatience.

Impatience is the gap between our expectations and what is.

What if we had no expectations of how or when something might be done? What if we made a sacred commitment to something and let Divine Presence lead us as to when and how that might be accomplished with grace and ease?

When I was 38, I was seriously working my desire to be a spiritual healer.  I was enthusiastically consuming two or three books a week.  I was devouring all the workshops I could fit in and spending huge amounts of time in Silence.  I was also regularly talking fervently to God about becoming a spiritual healer.  From this vantage point,  I see I was simultaneously afraid I was not going to make it to my goal and also afraid I would get there and not know what I was doing.   This was all mixed in with some quandaries about my sanity given that I knew no one going about this like I was.  These feeling though I closely held to myself.

In fairness, there were no proven paths to becoming a spiritual healer when I was entertaining this.  I did not know where the inner call came from but I did know that I was passionate about it beyond anything I could control. There was however a deep level of impatience with the slow methodical process of gaining skills and confidence in spiritual healing.

The zeal I had for “getting this stuff” was crackling with energy and drive.  I loved the high of learing about spiritual healing.  So, when I finished my studies, wrote my last paper, was ordained as a minister of spiritual healing, I thought, ” AT LAST,  I am ready to go.”  Looking back my struggle with impatience though had just begun.

As I worked, I realized how green I was.  I knew I was afraid of getting in over my head.  I dreaded someone coming in and wanting to work on something I knew nothing about.  I kept wondering how is this all going to work its way out?  How am I ever going to come in to a place of Peace about this work I felt so energized around?

Waiting Monk by h.koppdelaney
Waiting Monk by h.koppdelaney

Silence, silence and more silence.  That was the answer for me.  I was to sit and sit and sit some more while Divine Presence worked on me.  I was to face my judgment head on, rout out my issues, one my one, and continuously name the doubts and fears I was giving my power to.  Slowly, slowly, as I would work through a set of issues say around pride, I’d get three clients working on the same issues, no kidding.  Everything came in threes.  If I had looked at the issues manifesting as sore knees, three clients would come in with the same issues to look at for themselves.  This went on for years and years.

Patience, patience, patience kept coming up.  I had to systematically and continuously let go of my expectations and embrace what was.  When I didn’t, I would routinely hit a brick wall and feel bruised on every conceiveable level.   Whenever I would race ahead and wonder, why am I not able to hear what is needed for another?   Why am I not feeling connected to this client in the way I want to be?   I would crash and burn usually trashing myself  in the process.   I had no colleagues who could say, good job.  I was the ONLY person who could say that to myself because of the isolated and confidential nature of my work.

I had to methodically learn to love myself and in the process give up my impatience with not being perfect!!  No one told me this journey was about these things.  It just is though.

New week, Part 2 ,  Calling out impatience within ourselves.

Wholeness comes from the Silence

Before I learned to go, first thing, to Divine Presence when in need, I would observe an imbalance or pain in my body and immediately begin arranging whom to go see about it.  I lived in doctor’s offices often going 2-3 times a week for a number of years. I was a medical junkie, literally looking for a high.  I thought I was taking care of myself.  I was physically.  It was wearing on me completely though, looking back on that time.   This was my response to chronic pain.  I went to have all sorts of therapies tried on me, seeking some sort of relief.  Usually the relief helped for a couple of days but in some cases, I felt the pain return driving home from the appointment.   If I could have taken the practitioner home with me, perhaps that would have extended the sense of well being!

From a purely energetic point of view, the most important thing each of us can do especially when we are sick or out of balance is to go into intentional Silence in the Presence of the Divine.

Life Goes On by Peyman
Life Goes On by Peyman

What we usually do is go to the doctor, chiropractor, therapist, gym, masseuse, a movie, etc.  We don’t generally go to God as our first response when faced with a physical or mental ailment.   This is a curious reality.   Seeking Divine Presence through Silence is much easier than making an appointment, getting dressed, finding transportation, maneuvering through traffic, sitting in the doctor’s office, all to don a paper gown for examination!  Further, after getting the help, we have to get dressed again,  pay the bill, usually head for the pharmacy, and then retrace all our steps home.  Alternatively, sitting in Silence is our own private route to Wholeness.

When we go to a practitioner, we usually go because we hope for help, relief, medicine, reassurance, caring touch, attention and information.  Why don’t we go first to Divine Presence when we are out of balance?  We can get the same loving assurance, help, relief, attention, and care in the comfort of our own home with Divine Presence.

Cathy did not enter into Silence because she was afraid nothing would be there. Burton said,  ” I get in there and am afraid I won’t get out or won’t want to get out.”  Sharon shared, “I am afraid of what I will find out about myself. ” Amelia revealed, “I am always so concerned about what I need to do, I just get antsy sitting there getting none of it done.”  Rob said, “I am afraid of all the anger I am carrying around.  It might get opened up and I could not put it back in. ”

Any of these feelings familiar to you? These are strongly felt feelings, yes, but with not one ounce of lasting truth in them.  The feelings seems powerful and real, because they are charged with emotion.  However, there is a deeper truth in Silence which amazes everyone I have ever spoken with who intentionally enters into Silence.

There is Lasting Truth in Silence.  It is the core of our own True Selves. There is more love and acceptance in Silence than anywhere else in the Universe.  The more we experience this, the more we can bring that love and acceptance into our daily lives.

Another way to look at this is, we live in a spiritual world which we are trying to experience physically.  We get as many chances as we want, to try and experience this earth dimension solely on a physical basis.  Something BIG is missing  though, if that is what we keep trying to do.

Pink autumn girl by Nuuttipukki
Pink autumn girl by Nuuttipukki

When I began to meditate I sat outside up against a large walnut tree which grew up through our second story deck.  I remember days of just sitting and realizing I was just sitting.  I felt safe and supported by that old tree.  The sitting in and of itself felt like a gift to myself.  Then I began to experience currents of energy I had not experienced before.  I remember one early day of sitting,  it began to snow.  I realized I was liking the Silence.   I got up to get some cover from the cold.  I found my bright pink and blue serape and hat, bundled up and returned to sit.  I thought, I must be meditating, why else would I be sitting here in the snow?  It was a great sense of peace and calm.

Silence is a self- teaching process.  If you rest into Silence, you rejuvenate.  If you float in Silence, you set down your burdens and responsibilities and when you come out you can reexamine what you want to pick up again.   If you enter Silence and “bad things” come up, you can name them out loud and command them out of your energy field. They are already there affecting our sense of peace and balance every day, anyway.  Feelings and thoughts are not our core being.  Welcome to you own true self, that part of you that is basically Silent at the core and from that Silence all else is generated.  Most of us spend 95% of our time with the “stuff” that is generated and next to no time with the core of who we truly are.

Peace by alicepopkorn  (in and out)
Peace by alicepopkorn (in and out)

The entire idea here is when we enter into Silence, we will get the help we need, in the way we need it, when we need it. The inner space is not about being alone, it is about connecting with Divine Source, Infinite Love and Boundless Possibility.  Why are you not availing yourself of this space of Utterly Available Wholeness?  It is the shortest way I know of to health, happiness, laughter and peace.

Check in with your “stuff” around avoiding Silence.   Begin by is sitting with Divine Grace/The Oneness/Spirit of the Living God who loves us each completely, thoroughly, just exactly as we are.  Take 10 minutes (by the clock) each day to begin with or join others in Stillness and Silence.  We don’t have to put on our best Sabbath behavior, clothes or manners.  We are already loved, we just need to show up to feel it reflected back to us.  Knowing Wholeness comes from the Silence.

“There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub.”   Elisabeth Kubler-Ross