I hurt, feel listless, and nothing helps
I take my medications and I get exercise
And still I hurt some of every day
I am discouraged, I must be getting older
My systems are sluggish and draggy
I feel strong, stuck, lurking emotions
They bubble up and I keep pushing them away
They feel buried, deeply hidden, but still agitating
My gut is a mess due to too much sugar
Too much rich food and drink
Too many simple carbs and sweets
Sugar treats everyday and twice on holidays
Food and drink help me celebrate and forget
Because inside I feel alone, disconnected, and empty
My feelings of being lost and unfocused loom,
Improve a bit, return, and eventually overwhelm
My body screams at me about being out of balance
Out of touch with All That Is and myself
I continue ignoring the small indications of trouble
While time passes and all issues grow larger
I just keep on keeping on, in ole’ familiar ways
Then pain strikes, days feel lackluster
Migraines take an upturn, wakeful nights begin repeating
Every part of my mind, body, and soul now on the edge
I have to stop and listen because medicines only work
For a short time when congestion remains inside
I know I should seek out the blocked and stuck places
And find a path forward that really works
However, I really prefer to not focus on this inner stuff
Even as my body continues to yell, scream, and cajole
Demanding the needed changes, aching daily
For balance, peace, health, and clearing
I’ve been told I get all the help I need by asking in devotion
By staying the course, by clearing, and trying to love
By commanding out fear, anger, shame, and apathy
By returning and returning to Silence for more guidance
It still seems easier to let all this fall on my deaf ears
To continue to feel invincible, pretend I’m good enough
Blowing off steam when I am angry and irritated
Totally denying I have settled for pain and suffering
I know how to play at being just fine
Know how to put on my no care in the world face
Only I truly know that act is a pack of lies
And, yes, my body continues to tell me the truth
I really, really do not want to do this work
It is so hard to look inside at what is not working
Or maybe that is just my mind playing tricks on me
Keeping me from giving my all to be my best self
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