Grief

How do we go on when we feel crippling grief?  We sob and scream, cry and cry. We hide under our bed covers and hope when we awake from sleep,  it will all have left.  Life moves in grey colored tones.  Every action feels like a huge effort. We walk through daily life without joy, peace or hope and that adds to the grief depression already with us. Who understands us? Who will help us?  Where do we turn? Will we ever smile again?  Will the deep sense of loss ever go away?

HELP US, we are lost.

Lost Tree, heavens' mourning by h.koppdelaney

Everything I thought about life has changed.  The unspeakable deep sense of loss is so real, so deep.  It hurts and keeps hurting.  Is there anyone there?  How can I go on? I don’t want this present I have now.  I want the grief to leave me and the hurt to stop and the fear to disappear, now.  I want the longing to stop. Who is running the show anyway?  Why did this happen?  How can I go on?

HELP ME Please, I am lost.

These Burdens by fallingwater123

She is so distraught, she can’t eat.  She is unable to sleep, for days she hasn’t slept.  She is afraid of being alone now in the world.  She is afraid of the world in which this grief is so overwhelming.  She is a skeleton of herself. She is too sad to cry anymore, all the crying is gone and the only energy left is heartache.

He is imploding into numbness.  His love has died.  She was so vibrant and whole, so full of energy and vitality.  How can she be gone, really gone?  His heart is pining and raw.  He can’t work, he can’t find any happiness, he walks and walks as if to get away from the feelings.  When he returns, he lies all day on the couch with no energy to focus.  The TV passes by in hours and no connection is made.  He is lost to himself and to all of us.

HELP THEM, they are so lost.

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Bring all your burdens to me.  For I AM Perfect Love and I AM Perfect Balance and I AM Eternity, Joy, Forgiveness and Wholeness.  I AM the Love, the Light and the Life Everlasting.  I AM All That you truly seek.  There is no other. AND SO IT IS.

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How do we release the grief and sadness of loss, of regret, of un-forgiveness, of shame, of guilt and of depression? We begin in Stillness and Silence.  WE MUST ASK Divine Presence to come to us in any way we can think of.

Autumn dawn by James Jordan

Calling in Healing Energy

Beloved God, I need help.  I can’t continue with this grief and unbearable dark feelings of loss.  I am so shut down.  Come to me and clear this darkness away. I want to be joyful again but I don’t know how.  I want to be whole again.  I am so disconnected now.

Come to me, Divine Loving Power, I am in great need.  I don’t know what to do. Healing Energy of the Universe, I call you to me,  now.  Move this grief.  Show me joy again. Mend my heart, it is so broken.  I am so deeply grateful.

Jesus, loving Presence.  I need help and healing.  I am so sad, lost and afraid I can’t go on.  I don’t want to live this life with all this lost and grief.  I miss __________  so much. I feel like part of my own being has left me.  I feel un-whole and incapable of my own healing.  I drag through the days and I am so deeply sad, I can’t speak of this.  Come to me. I need help.

Ascended Masters, you know how to do this. You have been here, you know the grief, the darkness and the sadness here.  I am being eaten up by these feelings.  I can’t find my center, my balance.  I can’t find my way.  Help me heal.  I am so utterly sad and lost.  I am afraid.  I feel unsafe.

Oh dear God.  I am so lonely. My heart aches and aches and I can’t do anything else.  Help me to find my way.  I feel like I have nothing to live for.  I am afraid of things I can’t name.  Come Divine Grace, I open my heart to healing.  Thank you.

If there is Perfect Love out there or in me, I need it.  Come to help me heal. Thank you.

Sadness and grief is our right.  We can feel it for as long and as deeply as we need to feel it. We can also let it go when we are ready.  This is about how to get the help we need to let grief go.  However, there are times when we need to simply feel the grief as humans.  We need to shut out the world and be in grief.

Carrying grief however is not expected of us by some mythic “Board of Right Living”.   We each have our own timing for how long we remain in a state of sadness and grief and what it looks like for us.  And yet, it is really okay to set it all down, to release our heaviness and burdens to the Greater Loving Energy of the Universe.  All the darkness can be handled there.  It is fully okay to feel joy, delight and passion again after we have lost or after another has died.

floral tribute at Nerang by Leonard John Matthew

Send blessings to those who have left human life,  to the ones who have suffered, and send blessings to yourself.  Call in the help you need to embrace your path again.  It will appear with new colors and new depth for you have loved, grieved and chosen to love again. All that is needed is provided WHEN we ask.

Bless us all as we ask for and receive the help that is waiting for us, after we have grieved what is.

Our Thanks,  and So It Is.



Angel Energy

The  word “angel” immediately brings an image to my mind.  I see white gossamer fabric with wings and light everywhere.

angels are here by Alice Popkorn

I know I hold this image in my mind to help me imagine something I don’t see with my eyes.  I also like artists’ visions of cherubs through the centuries.   Those wee beings with round, chubby bodies, whimsical eyes, sweet smiles,  suspended in space.  I am quite fine with all of these images as far as they go.

Love by Beaver24

What I really love though is Angel Energy. Angel Energy  is a vibration experience that always brings Peace and Joy to me.  For me, Angel Energy is like entering a warm kitchen with bread baking which fills my whole body with delightful anticipation.  That energy at times also feels similar to sitting in a light room with gently penetrating wattage moving through my body.  Angel energy sometimes reminds me of totally relaxing and being swung in a hammock on a sunny, warm day. Or at times it feels like turning a corner and amazingly finding that something that has been so hard to deal with has gone away and is complete, whole and perfect.

Working with Angels, requires our conscious choice to invite these loving beings into our energy field.  This is consciousness exploration work.  Serious risk and serious gain are both possibilities.  The serious risk is that we will ask for help, hoping for a specific outcome and miss the outcome that is given.  The serious gain is that we ask for specific help with a given situation and everything about the situation resolves itself in ways we recognize and acknowledge.

The serious risk situation carries with it the possibility that in not getting the result we desire, we will give up on Angel Energy.  The serious gain  situation carries with it the possibility of never being able to return to a former state of disbelief about Angels.  When we know Angels are real energy beings and available to us, our whole orientation to infinite possibility changes.

Working with Angels is extraordinarily delightful business with a range of amazingly possible outcomes.  You might try connecting  with your Angels who are always available, 24-7, and who are always deeply interested in what you may need and how they might help you.

Your Guardian Angel by Alice Popkorn

The number one comment Angels make to humans is that we don’t ask enough, for support and guidance which they are lovingly ready to give us.  I work with Divine Energy everyday and I still forget to make specific requests for Angel help with some aspects of my life.  However, I have never asked for Angel Energy and not received help.  That is the best recommendation I can give for inviting you to give your Angel Energy more focus and attention. Wonderful, amazing results await you.

A few things may help facilitate this relationship.  As we have free will, we actually have to invite Angels into our energy space in specific ways to help us.  One might say something like,  “I give permission for my Angels to work with me today, with every aspect of my day”.  This request is too general  to allow for partnering with Angels on the quality of the day. You could change this request to something like this.  ” I request Angel Energy to help me to stay on time through the day and to meet all the requirements I have to attend to with grace and ease.  ”

Another way to work with the Angels is to say out loud, “I request Angel  support with the relationships in the group I am facilitating today, for the highest benevolent outcome for all”.   I did this recently and later I heard from three people that the meeting had been special for them.  I knew that my Angels and I had been working together.  The concept here is partnering rather than being granted a wish or hope.  We do all we can towards the positive goal we are seeking while also enlisting Angelic help.

A request for Angel Energy needs to be a  specific request for help regarding a time, place, situation, relationship, or outcome.  This way the contract is clear as to how you would like their help in your life.

You might also try imagining Angels as huge energy masses of intelligent loving rather than in human like forms.  Our visual images can initially help us to feel comfortable with seeking this support and help.  However, staying with these defined humanoid forms of Angelic presence may seriously limit our understanding of their scope, power, love and their ubiquitous presence.  As we hold forms in our minds, we naturally apply human characteristics to Angels.  Imagine Angel Energy moving through the air, through human bodies, through buildings and across space dimensions.  Expand your boundaries for these truly extraordinary Light Beings.  They are always be available and open to helping us, no matter what we need.

Spirit of Cyber Christmas by Anua22a

Silence for the Dubious

When people say, “you need to be in Silence”, there is usually a vision of sitting, perhaps cross-legged with eyes closed and breathing deeply for 30 minutes or so, while being left alone by the world.  The thought of this for many people is simply a non-starter and blocks our energy before one can even fully consider it.  Sometimes in our lives, such time is non-existent no matter how much we would love to have that experience.

Relaxing by TitaniumDreads

Still, the place to spend time with All That Is/Divine Presence/God is in Silence.  When we show up for this time together, we are the ones who are greatly blessed because we are loved, supported and calmed energetically in ways that generally don’t  happen in the world.  Silence with God is spending time with God without your own agenda.

The main ingredient we need to be successful in making time with God’s Energy is intention.  Here are some examples of how to do that.  One can dedicate 10 minutes of a walk with the dog to being with Divine Presence.

Man and his dogs by Yoshimai

Another option is to dedicate time while working in the garden or the yard to connecting with God.  Open a sacred space by calling in Divine Beings or Divine Light and call God into your time regardless of what you may be doing.   Another place I used to have time with God was in the bathroom.  That was at a time that I could reasonably count on having a few minutes to myself there.  I would seek that time and space at all times of the day and usually that was honored!

We can listen to uplifting music and intentionally invite Divine Presence into our space.  This is not Silence per se but it may get us into Silence with grace and ease.  The more we intentionally connect with Divine Energy,  the more we notice a shift in the vibration of energy around us.   This is the Holy Spirit showing up to be with us because we asked. One could read a spiritual book while asking God to enter into this space and time with you, as well.  If you are reading poetry or prose, take a section, read the piece three time out loud and then sit in the Silence of that energy.  You will be ministered to through Sacred Presence. Usually there is a great calm that comes over us even if we only have 15 minutes.

Any sacred time can be carved out and dedicated to God.  You can be watching children playing a sport and while sitting apart for the crowd, take 15 minutes to dedicate special time with God.  You can arrive early for an appointment and sit in the car listening to classical music or simply recline with eyes closed and ask God to connect with you.  The ways are infinite.

The challenge is to regularly invite God into your life.  Don’t talk about it and despair or simply close the door on it as being an impossibility.  We are in great need of the Presence of God.  That energy is incredibly calming, supportive and filled with Divine Love which is totally different from human support and love here.  However, we need to knock on the door with GREAT determination, seek without giving up and keep asking for connection and communion with God by showing up every day in one way or another.  We are the only ones who can gift ourselves with Divine Grace.  It is all around us but we have to say YES and show up.  So, do what works.

knocking to door by Daniel *1977

For those of you who are finding time in Silence, there is another step which can be taken to expand your conscious knowing of God.   After you have intentionally connected with God, you may come out of that time and realize you have something you want to pray about, ask forgiveness for, call Divine Presence into or clear some blocked energy you have become aware of.  This is not Silence.  This is working with God to call forth this energy for a specific person, situation or purpose.  This is unifying prayer.  Each of these experiences is still being with God but the focus changes to your own thoughts, questions, needs, etc.  This is a natural outgrowth of being in Silence with God.

Muriel was just coming out of a twenty minute session of Silence with God.  She immediately saw the face of her sister in front of her.  Her sister had passed away two years earlier.

Untitled by Nodlem

She did not know what the image of her sister actually meant, but the experience felt uncomfortable within.  She loved her sister deeply but there was an uneasiness when her face appeared to her.  Muriel took two minutes more in Silence and realized she needed to ask forgiveness for the way in which she had behaved when she needed to help take care of her during her illness and when she needed to suddenly do all the extra things for their parents when her sister was sick. Right then and there she asked for forgiveness for those unkind feelings, hasty words and old anger. She felt a perceptible sense of Lightness in her chest and heart area.  She knew she had actually been forgiven in that moment. She was amazed that it was so easy to release that old energy.  In fact, she had not really remembered her feelings until her sister’s face appeared to her. This was the Holy Spirit working with Muriel to help her clear her soul energy from this stagnant, stuck feeling that was still with her two years after her sister had died.

This is an example of how seamlessly this Divine Energy can work with us.  Muriel was in a deep communion with All That Is/God and she simply knew she needed to ask for forgiveness.  Without showing up for time with God, she could have carried that draining energy for years and have it show up in all sorts of unhelpful ways.

If we begin our personal relationship with God in Silence, we will be blessed in ways  we can never imagine.  Show up, dedicate time to God, keep the appointment, be in the Silence, and listen.  This is how we come to a place of balance and wholeness through Divine Grace. Even if you have no visual for God, no sense of what or who God is for you, even if you don’t even know if you believe in God Presence,  do this anyway.  There is a deep magic, that surpasses all understanding, whose doorway will open to us.  When this happens all our fears become less powerful, we become more capable of gratitude, we can release that which is not serving us or others very well.  If we have just even a few minutes, we will be ministered to.  We are deeply loved beyond anything we as humans can comprehend. However, we have to chose to enter into the Silence before we can gather this blessing for ourselves and for others.

Why Silence?

Here are some folks questioning the purpose and experience of Silence, being answered by folks who have tried Silence and find It working for them.  These answers are paraphrases from individuals in my meditation and healing practice.

Why would you ever sit in Silence when there are ever so many other more interesting things to do?

Because in Silence, nothing is expected of me.  In Silence, I feel at ease, safe with no one asking anything of me. Perhaps that is a lot like hiding but when I come out of it, I don’t feel like I have run away.  I feel like I have run towards something that perhaps I don’t fully get but I know is great and it feels trust worthy.  Also, increasingly, the myriad of “interesting things” in my life is not helping me become more peaceful.   As long as I “do things”, I feel worthy, productive, competent and focused.  I feel more in control.  However when I stop, I know I am not in control.  It feels good to sit in Silence where there are no control games going on or even the pretense of those running in the background.  I love to do this in the woods, or at the beach.   It seems like a whole other way of  being.

lecluse #1 by [le]doo
l’ecluse #1 by [le]doo

I don’t see myself ever seeking Silence because my mind won’t settle down when I stop running from one thing to another.  There never seems to be any peace in Silence for me.

When I first stopped doing, thinking, running around, working,  to enter into Silence , my mind only knew how to keep thinking thoughts.  That is exactly what it continued to do.   I focused on my breath going in and out or sometimes on a candle flame or on the blank wall, and let my mind go.  Eventually , my thoughts silenced themselves because I gave them no attention.  Then real peace set in.  I would find myself  simply swirling along, not aware of time at all.  There is a great sense of floating at times and of taking a real break from demands, lists, concerns and responsibilities.  When I come out,  I am usually more centered and less frantic.  I’d like to be free of worry and concerns,  all day long.  In the meantime, I am getting healthier, while I practice getting there.

What could possibly be in Silence that I can’t get from putting my energy and efforts on what I like to do?

…perhaps a space where just being is a nice state.   It is a great relief to be able to sit in Silence and simply be there.  It is like taking a short nap for me.  I usually come out refreshed and feeling lighter.  I have no idea how that happens but I experience it again and again.  What I find in Silence is more space to be.  If I find that I can’t get away from issues and stuff from my daily life, I name them out loud and escort them back “outside the doorway to the Silence” and leave them there.  They are always there when I finish my quiet time but they are often different in ways, less pressing or I have some clarity about how to respond.  I really don’t know how this works, but it does.   I don’t get this type of refresher in the day just running around doing things on my list.  I like the sense of entering Silence and coming out of it, both.  It works for me.

Why would I ever consider Silence, I don’t like to be alone usually and I find it boring in the extreme.

Intentional Silence is completely different from being alone.  For me, I go into Silence to connect with a Greater Whole which I don’t fully get but know is probably there.  I never feel alone because I go with the intention of connecting with Divine Energy.   I don’t know about boring.  I did have to learn to be still and listen to the Silence.  There is a different kind of knowing there which I am slowly getting.  In the beginning though, it was simply a place of Peace for me.

Silence!!! by Pardesi*

I don’t like Silence because I don’t know what to expect and I can’t really figure out what I am suppose to be doing there.

That is a great reason to keep going there.  We don’t know what to expect most of the time in life.  I often get thrown when things do not go as I expect.  In Silence, I simply sit and am quiet and things happen in that space in a very different way than in my daily life.  I get the sense that the hardest issues for me to learn can be learned there.  I often get gentle nudges or hunches which help me when I leave that space.  I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing there for sure, but I go there because I feel better when I do.  I get to be there doing nothing, having no rights or wrongs in that space.  When I come out, I am more able to roll along with things rather than feeling I need to control them.   That has been great for me.

When my doctor asked me how I brought my blood pressure down without medicine after 10 years of it being too high, I told him through spiritual clearing and healing in Silence.  He just rolled his eyes.

But really, that is what I did.  I began sitting in Silence and when things came up which were stressful, I named them usually as a fear,  called out the blocked energy around them and asked for them to be consumed from my energy field. This process has worked for me, big time. Then I usually enjoy my Silence after I do my release work.  My blood pressure I guess was related to all the stress I was  carrying when I got angry, irritated or frustrated.  Maybe my cells just settled down as all those things left my energy field, who knows.  Anyway, my doctor is happy and I think I am a lot healthier all around.  ( for more on how to name and release) http://www.robbinshopkins.com/2009/09/calling-out-impatience-part-2/

Other Responses to Why Silence?

When I finally got to entering Silence on my own, I found it amazing that when I came out, I was clearer about the issues I was facing even though they were not specifically addressed by me in that Silence.

I found myself always making excuses for myself as to why I was drinking too much until in Silence I found a place to connect in stillness and within the quiet.  I then began to be able to consider getting help for my drinking habits.

When I was really lost, in a situation I was completely confounded by, doing things that were unfamiliar and sometimes unpleasant for me, I could always take 5 minutes in Silence and know I was still connected to the Greater Whole.

When I got to Silence even for a short time daily,   I began to see that my temper was less explosive and my language was more even, even the curse words dropped out in time.  Some type of peace was coming over me just by a few minutes in Silence.

Tjosvoll Vest by Vinje
Tjosvoll Vest by Vinje

Try Silence for several days, a few minutes at the time and then keep giving it to yourself, as a gift.  You are actually giving Divine Presence/Greater Whole/All That Is/your “I AM Presence” a chance to send you Love so that you will have more Light to bring to your body, your affairs and your thoughts. Love creates Light which heals us completely.  Sometimes we just aren’t creating enough Love of our “I AM Presence”/own True Self /Core Eternal Being  for us to generate enough Light to feel balanced, centered, content and whole.  When you enter into Silence:

1. set an intention ( say it out loud)  to connect with All That Is

2. to receive healing Love

3. to experience inner Peace, with time

When you leave Silence give thanks for whatever happened for you in that time, regardless of whether you think if was good or bad, well done or botched, helpful or unhelpful.  Appearances often deceive us.  Being in Silence with these intentions is ALWAYS HEALING even if we can’t see it in the beginning or on a specific day.

Infinite Source

Infinite Source means just that, the Source of All That Is has no boundaries, limits or perimeters.  It is vast possibility without any limitation. This is a challenging concept to grasp, and even harder to actualize in our lives.  Both are possible though and embracing Infinite Source is life changing.

Vastness by melolou
Vastness by melolou

Infinite Source means there is no shortage of supply, love, wealth, humor, creativity, food, health, peace, balance, etc. Infinite Source is one of the immutable Laws of Creation.  Yet, we experience all sorts of limitations on Earth and in our lives at the present time.   This earth dimension we live in, does not generally recognize Infinite Source in our daily lives.  It is seen as a theoretical possibility for the most part which we generally do not know how to activate.  So for practical purposes, it does not exist.

I would like to challenge this view and suggest that we need to pick up all our threads of creativity and imagination and launch ourselves and our lives into the energy of Infinite Source to more effortlessly and effectively help us with what we have come to do in this lifetime.  We create the stifling limits within which we live, operate, breath and create. We, with our own minds, think as humans think, with boundaries, issues, concerns, problems, limitations, conditions, improbabilities and nay saying.

Blue by derpunk
Blue by derpunk

What if there really are no actual boundaries except the ones we are giving our power to in this lifetime? Perhaps we have all bought into accepted conventions and agreed to standard deviations for conditions, improbabilities and nay-saying?  Maybe there is a field out there where you and I will meet and none of this will actually matter. Let’s say we could really live in full acceptance of Infinite Source even in one area of our lives.  Might it be worth giving it a try?

Repeatedly throughout my years of spiritual seeking, the one thing that comes to me over and over again is that I think too small, envision with limitations, doubt the vastness of the Whole and generally look upon the Divine with human eyes and thoughts.  Of course, I am human!  However, I don’t think that my humanness is the authority by which I live and create.   My “I AM” energy is the authority by which I live and create. My Oneness with All That Is is the authority by which I harness goodness and create with love.  In contrast,  my humanness is often the wagging finger energy standing at the doorway of my mind saying, “un-uh, you can’t do that, that is not possible, that is dreamy eyed thinking,  that is absurd, just fool’s folly”.  For years and years, I listened to what was not possible, not probable and gave that energy a great deal of power.

Those years were generously filled with physical pain and suffering on my part.  Of course, I was giving my energy and power to many things that I thought I was going to have to do which I would not like, would be bad at doing or better yet would probably fail at. UGH!!  I was immediately caught up short when I realized one day that I had really, really had chronic back pain for 16 years.   I was totally surprised at this on one level because I secretly thought of myself as a jock.  Well, I was, in one part of my brain.  I had commuted to work with my bike, I had played tennis and taught Jazzercise, taken yoga and loved to swim.  I had walked regularly and weight lifted whenever my body allowed.   It seemed very weird that somehow I had become a handicapped person with this chronic pain.  The insurance companies would concur with this accessment given all the doctors I was seeing.

For a while this realization of  these years of pain, made me seriously angry with my body.   I was also furious with everyone that pain was my constant companion.  I eventually became outwardly angry and negative until that wore both me and my family out.  I then became quiet in my suffering ( for a very short while) and eventually I had the thought, perhaps I could be pain free.  This was the first time in 16 years that I had had that thought.   It was just a glimmer of hope but it fueled a huge change within me.

This has been my very own, self-created, experience at limiting my life, my health, my options.  I  really did buy into the fact that I would probably be in pain my entire life.   However, I became more and more determined to seek another reality for me.  I was completely fatigued and impatient with doctors, body workers, therapists of all sorts.  One therapist told me I was psychologically ill and the pain was all imagined.  Another said I was one of the sanest persons she had had the privilege to meet.  I thought then and there, I think I’ll believe the last one.  It feels better.  And thus, I began looking for that elusive Infinite Source.  I did not know that was what IT was called then but I do now.  I now know that my thoughts become my reality. I can choose to create conditions, boundaries, prerequisites, or limitations or not.  The choice is mine.

Usually when I am angry, frustrated, impatient or snippy, I am giving my power to limitations, conditions and fears which are working me in negative ways.  When I am peaceful, happy, loving and understanding, I am going with the flow.   Infinite Source is a huge vastness of possibility and there are absolutely no bounds on that Source except the ones we create.

When I finally got that I might be able to live in greater health with pain free energy, I began to see all sorts of new help around me that had always been there.  I had just not seen it.  The limitations which I had made my reality, literally blocked the channels of Infinite Source around me. I began to change what I thought was true, who I spent time with, what I spent time doing and how I characterized myself to myself, and to others.  I tried out aspects of Infinite Source such as  “if I don’t give it a try, who will?” and  “when will it be a good enough time to do something I love?” and  “who is your authority here anyway?” and finally, “girl, figure out what you love and do it!”.   And slowly I did.  I have now been pain free with the exception of normal bumps and bruises for so many years that I know I will continue pain free,  the remainder of my life.

Great Valley by M-A-V
Great Valley by M-A-V

Take a leap of faith and truly imagine what has seemed impossible for you.

Call forth Divine Assistance and go for it.

Counter the nay- sayers within and without with calm resolve.

Honor your path as part of the learning process that leads to our own true selves, pain included.

Proclaim Infinite Source and give your power to those possibilities, without bounds,  in all situations.

Try giving your power to imagining and working with Infinite Source.   You will truly experience that Infinite Source is seriously real. The only boundaries and limitations we have are the ones we accept and create for ourselves.

The God You Don’t Believe In

Bearded Man, 1981 by Seattle Municipal Archives

Tell me about the God you don’t believe in. Perhaps it is a God, who resembles a wise old man in the sky, with a beard who knows everything you do and is going to make you pay for most of  it. Perhaps the God you don’t believe in seems a lot like the Big Kahuna who has everything as he likes it, is none too available unless maybe when there is serious bad stuff going down.  Even then, contacting him, is an iffy proposition.  Or even better, your non-existent  God perhaps never did exist because  look at all these truly horrific things happening here on Earth.  “How can there be a God?  That God is a real myth.”  Maybe the  God you left was that one the nun spoke of  when you were seven, saying, “you better sit there and don’t even think of going to the bathroom unless you want to see this ruler imprinted on your hand.  God is watching you and you are already in serious trouble”

Perhaps your discarded God wasn’t there when you were abused or felt abandoned.  Or perhaps that  God wasn’t around when your mother suffered and died too young with cancer.  Then there are lots of folks who talk about a God found in large buildings where you dress up in your best clothes, pledge money to belong, serve on at least one committee and usher once a month. Perhaps that works for some folks.

Devon Church by
Devon Church by etrusia uk

I really tried to find God there for a long, long time.  I loved the music and the stained glass windows and loved all the sense of connectedness with other people.  I would have so loved to have found God in such a place.

I finally though, admitted to myself that I did not believe in any of those kinds of Gods either.  I was hoping God would show up somewhere along the line but honestly, I was truly adrift for a long time over this.  However, we all go through our own process of coming to a knowing of God Energy and Presence, or not.

Actually,  I prefer any of these terms, Divine Presence, Spirit, Great Oneness, All That Is, the Great I AM to” God”, because I seem to be always stepping on other people’s views of the God they don’t believe in.  The images connected with the word “God” are so loaded that it is a challenge to even use the word “God” when I am speaking about energy which is not in form, invisible, all knowing,  powerful in untold ways, eternal,  and present everywhere.

Is it just possible, that there is some type of Divine Presence which does not fit neatly into our present views and beliefs about God? Might we have our version of the God we don’t believe in, because we have never had a personal relationship with the Energy of the Great I AM?  Perhaps we have only heard about this energy from age old stories which simply can’t be true.  Or perhaps we have only experienced other people’s views of what God energy is and what it is supposed to do for us.  Perhaps what we have heard of God, we don’t like and don’t believe.  Other people’s stories seem too impossible to believe,  so God has got to be a figment of people’s imagination.

I was raised in a religious practicing family.  When I was a teenager, I became an internal skeptic.  Then I became a benevolent humanist and agnostic.  I felt better trying to be a nice, good person but I did not know if there was a God or not.  Then I ran into a few brick walls, chronic debilitating back pain, a serious family illness,  humongous fear and I became a seeker.

Meditation Begins At Birth by Premarian
Meditation Begins At Birth - in Croatia by Premasagar

One day through the “grace of God”, it seems to me looking back,   I entered into intentional Silence and something amazing happened.   I ran into God right in the middle of the Silence.  I guessed it was God.  I had not really expected to find that clarity, peace or knowing in that Silence.  But there IT was, staring me in the face.the lotus within yourself by Chris Spera

Then I began to share what I was learning with others and lots of other people also began to have similar experiences to mine and began to share them.  They also moved from seekers to knowers.  We had a movement happening.  We had moved into the space of people who know there is a God force because we spend time with that force repeatedly.  After a few months of entering Silence, we knew that Energy Force was always inside of us.

Then we began to see that after we had had that time of Silence and connecting in,  we were more loving in all ways.  We were more centered.  We were more balanced and content.  This became my own definition of God Energy then.   All the questions I had, seemed to melt away.  The experience of Divine connection which I found in the Silence was all knowing and I found that totally fascinating.  It was as if through osmosis from somewhere in the Silence,  I was learning about the real God, at least the one that was real for me.  (stay tuned)