Suffering and Sorrow : Released

All suffering and sorrow feelings are due to un-forgiveness energy.  Where there is sorrow, there is  un-forgiveness energy.   The two exist together.  What can we do about sorrow and suffering energy?

Head in Hands by Alex E. Proimos

Craig and Dana have been married 18 years.  They love each other, are happily employed, have two children and are healthy.  However their sex life by their own report has always been difficult.  They have a long history of missed opportunities, guilt feelings, sadness energy, failure and frustration energy with each other sexually.  Yet there is love on both sides for the other.  They have “tried everything” including therapy, changing techniques, weekend get-aways with support groups, videos, talking with trusted friends. They have yelled, accused, defended and attacked each other repeatedly through the years.  They have also tried calmly taking with each other about what is missing, wrong and not working.

After years of deep sorrow and frustration,  we talked about forgiveness.  Their work began with forgiveness of self for all their perceived failures, the years of unsuccessful attempts at loving intimacy and for their own judgments they held about their partners.

This is what it looked like.  Dana would sit in silence and ask to be shown places of un-forgiveness she carried about herself regarding her sexual relationship with Craig. She would sometimes get a snippet of a past conversation, a fragment of an argument or a memory of a specific weekend where she had sobbed in great anguish. She would focus on one of these images from the past and say, “I forgive myself totally and completely.” She might say this 20 or 30 times or more if the pain was especially raw.  Sometimes she cried so hard, she reported having to write out the forgiveness statements because she could not speak them aloud.  Sometimes the same situation or memory would surface again weeks later and she would have to forgive herself all over again.

Craig was following his own process as well.  He tended to remember specific times where he felt he had failed and worked through those scenarios at first.  As these receded in intensity, other memories presented themselves where he had been deeply sad, then others where he had been frustrated and eventually times of feeling guilty surfaced.  Both Dana and Craig were led in Silence to different processes for their individual work.

holding hands by annstheclaf

When they got to a place where no more need for self -forgiveness was coming up, they switched to forgiveness of each other.  Slowly, slowly compassion for self and for each other began to surface.  They were able to spend intimate time together in tiny steps with no expectations. The beginning steps made without the mantel of the  past led to more trust, more success, more expressed loving wholeness over time. They began to find their way together by retuning to forgiveness of self and each other when they hit more road blocks. They both reported success in their efforts to spend intimate time together.  They also reported that throughout their entire lives, they were seeing new evidence of this forgiveness energy working and smoothing out other challenges they faced.

Forgiveness work, whatever the topic is, has to begin with ourselves.  We have to forgive ourselves for what we see as our anger, sadness, mistakes, ignorance, etc.  This is the only way we can totally and completely forgive another person from the heart.  Both parts of this process, forgiveness of self and of another have to be taken together.  Forgiveness of self allows the forgiveness of another to fully manifest. If we do not see our own brokenness and sorrow and move to release it from our energy field, we will never be able to forgive another wholly and completely. Suffering and sorrow then remain with us in our energy field.

Karl was divorced by his wife after 22 years of marriage.  They were in counseling for a year before the divorce was final but his wife felt the situation was irreconcilable.  When I began working with Karl,  he was still very angry, deeply hurt, with feelings of abandonment, mistreatment and rage.  He could not feel any energy for a new relationship even 4 years after his divorce.  He felt betrayed through no fault of his own.

Anguish Ian (or:The Scream) by sparktography

When we began talking about self-forgiveness, he was totally closed to this.  He was divorced by his wife after all.  Karl told me his wife was the one at fault and he had nothing to forgive himself about.   We continued to talk about his feelings around this divorce and eventually we tried a session in sacred space, where he simply said, “I forgive myself totally and completely”,  over and over until it felt complete for that day.  There was no image of what that forgiveness might be about specifically.  He worked with this for several weeks and eventually the dam broke and he was able to grieve the loss and forgive himself for all the things he was blaming himself for, which he could not see nor name at the time.

Divine Grace was present in these sessions working with his unseen energy, unseen by me and by him as well.  Nonetheless, the forgiveness progressed and in time he also did the needed work in forgiving his wife.   He eventually began to date other people and reported he was a different person completely from who he had been in his earlier marriage.  He tells me he still uses that process especially around things he does not understand  but knows are out of balance.

Steps to take when suffering and sorrow are present.

1. Create a sacred space by saying, I open a sacred space with my I AM Energy/Eternal Self/Spiritual Self and Divine Presence in the highest forms ( angels, ascended teachers, divine ancestors, nature intellegences, etc.)  to help me forgive myself.

2.  Sit quietly to settle into the sacred space.  Set the intention of your work by stating in your mind that the forgiveness work is around your marriage, your relationship with your mother, the loss of your child or spouse, the relationship with your boss, specific abuse or trauma you have experienced,  etc.

3. Begin silently to yourself saying,   “I forgive myself totally and completely“.  Repeat this until you feel this in your heart.  You might put your hands on your heart as you are saying this.

4.  If  you try this for 15 minutes and feel little or nothing, try this.  “Sacred Flame from within me, consume any blocked emotional, mental, self-protective ( thermal) energy, spiritual energy or curse energy I am manifesting which is keeping me from being able to forgive myself.  I command this stuck energy out of my field, now. Thanks be to God/All That is. ”  Wait 5 minutes in this energy.

5. Return to #3 again.  If  this is still not working, write this out in a journal, again and again.  However, remember to open a sacred space within which to work.  This is most important!

6. When you feel no more un-forgiveness of self is present, which could take days or months,  use this same process for others in your situations.  “I forgive ___________ totally and completely.” Even when you are working with the death of another, do this part of the work.  Often we are angry, sad and out of balance with a loved one for having left us here without them.

Sunset and balancing rock stack by James Jordan

This process works because when we open Sacred Space we engage our Eternal, Spiritual Selves and all the Loving Presence of All That Is to help us heal.  When we surrender to loving forgiveness, we return to our natural state of balance which has left us due to experiences in the past.  We come into the present and thereby heal from the past.

Grief

How do we go on when we feel crippling grief?  We sob and scream, cry and cry. We hide under our bed covers and hope when we awake from sleep,  it will all have left.  Life moves in grey colored tones.  Every action feels like a huge effort. We walk through daily life without joy, peace or hope and that adds to the grief depression already with us. Who understands us? Who will help us?  Where do we turn? Will we ever smile again?  Will the deep sense of loss ever go away?

HELP US, we are lost.

Lost Tree, heavens' mourning by h.koppdelaney

Everything I thought about life has changed.  The unspeakable deep sense of loss is so real, so deep.  It hurts and keeps hurting.  Is there anyone there?  How can I go on? I don’t want this present I have now.  I want the grief to leave me and the hurt to stop and the fear to disappear, now.  I want the longing to stop. Who is running the show anyway?  Why did this happen?  How can I go on?

HELP ME Please, I am lost.

These Burdens by fallingwater123

She is so distraught, she can’t eat.  She is unable to sleep, for days she hasn’t slept.  She is afraid of being alone now in the world.  She is afraid of the world in which this grief is so overwhelming.  She is a skeleton of herself. She is too sad to cry anymore, all the crying is gone and the only energy left is heartache.

He is imploding into numbness.  His love has died.  She was so vibrant and whole, so full of energy and vitality.  How can she be gone, really gone?  His heart is pining and raw.  He can’t work, he can’t find any happiness, he walks and walks as if to get away from the feelings.  When he returns, he lies all day on the couch with no energy to focus.  The TV passes by in hours and no connection is made.  He is lost to himself and to all of us.

HELP THEM, they are so lost.

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Bring all your burdens to me.  For I AM Perfect Love and I AM Perfect Balance and I AM Eternity, Joy, Forgiveness and Wholeness.  I AM the Love, the Light and the Life Everlasting.  I AM All That you truly seek.  There is no other. AND SO IT IS.

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How do we release the grief and sadness of loss, of regret, of un-forgiveness, of shame, of guilt and of depression? We begin in Stillness and Silence.  WE MUST ASK Divine Presence to come to us in any way we can think of.

Autumn dawn by James Jordan

Calling in Healing Energy

Beloved God, I need help.  I can’t continue with this grief and unbearable dark feelings of loss.  I am so shut down.  Come to me and clear this darkness away. I want to be joyful again but I don’t know how.  I want to be whole again.  I am so disconnected now.

Come to me, Divine Loving Power, I am in great need.  I don’t know what to do. Healing Energy of the Universe, I call you to me,  now.  Move this grief.  Show me joy again. Mend my heart, it is so broken.  I am so deeply grateful.

Jesus, loving Presence.  I need help and healing.  I am so sad, lost and afraid I can’t go on.  I don’t want to live this life with all this lost and grief.  I miss __________  so much. I feel like part of my own being has left me.  I feel un-whole and incapable of my own healing.  I drag through the days and I am so deeply sad, I can’t speak of this.  Come to me. I need help.

Ascended Masters, you know how to do this. You have been here, you know the grief, the darkness and the sadness here.  I am being eaten up by these feelings.  I can’t find my center, my balance.  I can’t find my way.  Help me heal.  I am so utterly sad and lost.  I am afraid.  I feel unsafe.

Oh dear God.  I am so lonely. My heart aches and aches and I can’t do anything else.  Help me to find my way.  I feel like I have nothing to live for.  I am afraid of things I can’t name.  Come Divine Grace, I open my heart to healing.  Thank you.

If there is Perfect Love out there or in me, I need it.  Come to help me heal. Thank you.

Sadness and grief is our right.  We can feel it for as long and as deeply as we need to feel it. We can also let it go when we are ready.  This is about how to get the help we need to let grief go.  However, there are times when we need to simply feel the grief as humans.  We need to shut out the world and be in grief.

Carrying grief however is not expected of us by some mythic “Board of Right Living”.   We each have our own timing for how long we remain in a state of sadness and grief and what it looks like for us.  And yet, it is really okay to set it all down, to release our heaviness and burdens to the Greater Loving Energy of the Universe.  All the darkness can be handled there.  It is fully okay to feel joy, delight and passion again after we have lost or after another has died.

floral tribute at Nerang by Leonard John Matthew

Send blessings to those who have left human life,  to the ones who have suffered, and send blessings to yourself.  Call in the help you need to embrace your path again.  It will appear with new colors and new depth for you have loved, grieved and chosen to love again. All that is needed is provided WHEN we ask.

Bless us all as we ask for and receive the help that is waiting for us, after we have grieved what is.

Our Thanks,  and So It Is.