Right Relationship

Coming into Right Relationship with aspects of our lives is another way to think of seeking Peace.  Right Relationship refers to the highest form of connection with a person, place or situation for this place and time as defined by Divine Knowing.  Right Relationship is a concept which requires us to let go of defining that fully for ourselves and simply seek this increasingly in our daily lives.  For example, when I am irritated with a neighbor or colleague, I am out of Right Relationship with that person.   I may not fully know what Right Relationship looks like with a specific person, however, when I am out of Right Relationship, I usually know it.  I feel anxious, irritated, on edge, confrontative, nervous, when I think of them or when I am around them. This is a good place to begin seeking Peace.

Japanese Rock Garden (Photo by vgm8383)

The contrast between balance and non-balance becomes gradually clearer as we are increasingly in Silence.  The challenge is what to do about it.  If we are out of Right Relationship with a person and we want to re-balance, what can we do?

One main principle in seeking Peace is that others do not make or break our Peace.  We make or break it.  We choose to get angry, to feel judged, to feel mistreated, to feel betrayed, to feel irritated or insignificant.  However, we often talk about this as “so-in-so made me feel sad, mad, glad”.  Actually the truth energetically is more like this, “when I think about or I am with so-in-so, I feel mad, sad, or glad”.  The choice to feel that way is ours.  The choice not to feel that way is also ours.  This later realization usually spurs shifts in how we work these issues in our lives.

What does being out of Right Relationship look like?

Years ago I got irritated with one of my colleagues who always had to have everything we worked on perfect to her standards of perfection.  I was clearly out of Right Relationship with this person.  Let’s call her Sonya. Every meeting I had with Sonya always devolved into her stating what was wrong with the efforts we had made on a joint project.  Sometimes the issue was the “clarity of the brochure”, sometimes the issue was the appropriateness of the pictures we had used, or the font, or the unstated messages, and on and on.  What I needed to work on was why I got so irritated. After some Silence with this issue, it came to me that I really, really resented feeling controlled.  This type of experience is something that I also had in other areas of my life, surprise, surprise.  What was this about?? How could I release it?

What can we do about being out of Right Relationship?

Here’s what I did.  I sat down and wrote in my journal about all the experiences I had ever had when I felt controlled by another person.  I went back to my childhood, I wrote about my marriage, I wrote about other work settings. I wrote until I was finished with all these experiences.  I learned that Sonya was not the creator of this experience, I was.  I learned that what I really was working with was the fear of not measuring up to other’s opinions of me.  When I got this clarity, I asked during one of my meditative sessions, to have all this fear of not measuring up to be lifted from my energy field. It was.

A few weeks later Sonya and I had a meeting. I had asked her to just go ahead and make all the changes she wanted to before our meeting on the brochure we were writing so that it was exactly as she thought it would work.  There was no tension, no angst. We negotiated some changes without the irritation I usually had felt.  I felt really clean and balanced.

I knew that something really different had happened for me. I had sought Peace and in that seeking, it had been given to me.  It was not given without my effort but rather as a result of trying to clear the energy that was taking me out of balance. This spiritual principle has been shown to me hundreds of times since then.  When I take steps towards Peace and Balance, all that is needed is provided.